Potty Training Under 2- Ruthie Hart

Yep. I am that crazy mom who decided to potty train her 21 month old with a newborn at home but it is pretty much the best decision I've made (only 2nd to getting him an iPad, praise the Lord for technology!). When I posted a picture of my son Ford standing proud in his new undies on Instagram, a few people asked me to post our approach. Initially that made me nervous because we aren't following a book or anything, we are just going with the flow. Dare I say it has been easy? Ford was just 21 months old when we started and that is pretty young considering it is still normal for 3-4 year olds to be potty training but this is why we started. My niece is fully potty trained and spent a week with us after baby sister was born so Ford was with her everyday. He saw her cool undies, cheered for her when she went on the big potty, and understood that she got an M&M when she went. The day she left Ford told us he had to poop on the potty and he did so we decided to give it a shot. My #1 piece of potty training advice is to wait for your child to be ready. Ford wasn't just ready, he was psyched! He talked about potty, undies, treats for a while and he is really the one who decided to start training. I wanted to share some things that have worked for us and how we are going about training him. I read about 3 day potty training and a few other articles on Pinterest and I got ideas from them but just following my own instinct, isn't that what we all do to survive parenthood?

• Wait until your child shows interest. Potty training is BIG for kids. They are used to going to the bathroom while they play or eat and not even thinking about it. Now if your kid is 5 and not interested yet, there may be an issue. But just because a friend has a 2 year old potty trained doesn't mean your 2.5 year old is behind. Wait until they are ready or else it may take even longer (I've heard of regressions in other areas due to forced potty training).
• Contrary to the bullet point above, we got 2 little potties for Ford when he was 18 months old and had them set out in our bathroom and upstairs in his room. We started talking about potty and showing him how we went and even asking him if he wanted to try. If he would say no, we wouldn't push it. At the beginning he couldn't care less but then got more and more interested and we got to the point where he would want to sit on the potty to "try" to go almost everyday but never went.
• We cloth diapered prior to training so Ford knew that #2 was dumped and sprayed into the big toilets. I have heard that with disposable diapered babies you should take them in the bathroom and dump the #2 from their diaper into the toilet and flush it down so they see where it should go. 
• Once they start showing interest, buy undies. Ford is obsessed with Bubble Guppies and I ordered a 7 pack of Bubble Guppies undies for him online. Buy undies that they will think are super cool (Mickey Mouse, Dora, Frozen, etc). Like introducing the potty, we talked a lot about undies. We showed them to him and said these are special because we cannot go potty in them. We didn't let him put them on until we officially started training.
• Choose a treat. I tried to start with Juice Plus Gummy Vitamins for treats but Ford doesn't really like them so we chose M&Ms. I bought a bag and put them in a sealed Mason jar on the counter by the potty area. He gets 1 M&M per time he goes on the potty, no matter if it is #1 or #2. If it is right around mealtime we tell him he has to eat before he gets his treat. 
• Have a designated potty area. Right now Ford's little potty is in a nook between our kitchen and living room. I have a stool next to it with books because he is already a little old man and loves to read on the pot. He can also see the TV which was great during the first few days of training when all we did was stay home. We have his M&Ms, books, undies, pull ups, and wipes in our potty area. 
• Stay home. I was skeptical of the magical 3 day potty training approach working for us because Ford is so young but we did decide to stay home for 3 days at the beginning of training. Ford was basically naked during those days and we asked him if he had to go potty 2-4 times an hour. 
• The 3 day approach tells you not to use pull ups but like I said above, we aren't ready to toss out the pull up option right away and I like using them. Ford is in undies when we are at home but pull ups when we are out. Before we leave the house we make sure he pees and put on his pullup. When we get where we are going I usually take him straight to the bathroom not just to make him go but so he knows that we can go potty in public (I've heard of kids being scared of going in public). I am so proud of Ford for this. He is very vocal when we go out and tells me when he needs to go and isn't afraid of going #1 or #2 in a public toilet (lots of hand washing!). He comes home with a dry pull up and we go straight to undies at home. 
• We still use diapers at nap and nighttime because Ford is a heavy wetter during sleep. I am not exactly sure how to eliminate that because they don't know when they are going in the middle of the night but I am not worried about that right now. We are trying to monitor liquid intake right before bed (he used to drink a whole cup of milk while we read books and now he just gets it at dinner) but he still wakes up super wet. Funny thing though, he wants his diaper off right when he gets up because he's no longer used to sitting in potty. So that's a start!
• Accidents happen. We are making sure we encourage Ford even when he has accidents. He is such a sensitive little guy already that we love on him and tell him it is okay but next time we go potty in the potty, etc. His accidents in the past few weeks have been so random too. 
• Take a deep breathe. Potty training is hard. It is physically exhausting at first cleaning up accidents and doing laundry but remember it is worth it! Sure I could just throw a diaper on Ford when we are in public but then that would ruin all the progress we've made. Monday I took the babies to the grocery store all by myself for the first time and right when I got Ford in the cart and Lucy in the ergo, Ford announced he had to poop. It added about 5 extra minutes to our trip and I think I was sweating by the time he was done but that is part of it. Potty training isn't just for the child, it is for the parent too. I keep a tiny Tupperware of M&Ms in Ford's backpack so I can reward him when we are in public. 
• Teamwork. My husband has been so involved in potty training and I couldn't have done it without him. Stay on the same page as your spouse and have a game plan. Also, if anyone else cares for your child, make sure they know your game plan too. When Ford stays with my parents or goes to Mother's Day Out, I make sure they will offer him potty or listen for him to ask for it. 
• If it doesn't work, put the potty away for a while and try again later. I hear this is common. You think your child is ready so you try to potty train and it fails. Don't keep pushing it but stop and try again another time. Remember that as adults, we are all potty trained. All the blood, sweat, and tears that go into this will be forgotten. Your child WILL be potty trained!

I read an article about how you shouldn't try any big transitions with your older kids 90 days before or 90 days after a new baby is born. A few weeks ago I would have never thought we would have Ford potty trained before he turned 22 months but I am so glad we didn't ignore the signs. I know it will take time for things to flow a little better and for him to be potty trained at nap/night but I am so proud of my little guy. Like I said, I am no potty training expert but like anything in parenting, you do what works best for you and your family! And remember, one day everyone eventually potty trains!

The Last Leap -Amanda Hays

Today is a pretty momentous day in my journey of motherhood. My daughter, Mae, just finished her last Wonder Weeks leap. I'm both elated and terrified. The Wonder Weeks has been my road map for all my kid's craziness. Is she refusing to nap?- must be a leap. Is she throwing more tantrums than normal?- must be a leap. Is she screaming "no!" at strangers?- actually, that's just normal Mae. Seriously, this information was key to my survival during these first 18 months. But now I feel like I am starting the next part of my journey without a road map.

Does anyone else feel like raising a baby might as well be astrophysics? How did women survive before they could perform late-night googles? How else would I have solved the mysteries of overstimulation, swim diapers, teething cough, and neck roll hygiene? I know there are women who intuitively know how to care for their growing infant- I'm just not one of them. I needed resources to reassure me that I wasn't totally screwing up.

So in honor of my step into leapless territory, I am listing a few more of the resources that helped me survive so far. Disclaimer: This is what worked for me and my family; I know it won't be helpful for everyone and that is perfectly ok :)

The Baby Whisperer

How it helped me:

I've mentioned before that Mae was colicky. Getting Mae on a routine helped me decipher her colicky screams/cries and her needs cries. She still led the daily schedule but I knew what she needed and when to expect it. I also followed Tracy Hogg's sleep training method. Because we started a routine so early, we were basically able to sleep train without having to cry-it-out (monumental in the survival of this postpartum depression and frayed nerves mama).

The Happiest Baby on the Block Video

How it helped me:

It's one thing to read about the 5 S's and a whole other thing to see them in practice. These techniques really do help calm infants, even colicky ones!!

The Wholesome Baby Food Website

How it helped me:

I can’t say enough about how helpful this website was to me! There are tons of great recipes and trustworthy recommendations for introducing foods.

And of course Ladies with Babies!

How it helped me:

Do I even need to explain? Local community and an army of mamas to answer questions... I wouldn’t have survived without you!

I wish you the best of luck and blessing during your baby’s first 18 months. And I would appreciate your prayers for our continuing journey!  

Amanda Hays

The 5th of July

If your 5th of July wasn't quite as magical as your 4th of July you're not alone. We had a wonderful Independence Day. It wasn't without its share of moments but overall it was a very good day. Our neighborhood really knows how to have a big celebration and we were able to spend the morning and afternoon with friends at parties and the evening with friends and fireworks. Its amazing to me that individual neighborhoods do their own fireworks displays - Austin really is the best city!

But for us fireworks it probably where this all went wrong. Lets face it - this really could have gone either way. Some kids love them! I even saw several of your kid’s pictures with the sweetest looks of amazement. Its heartwarming. Thats not quite the experience we had.  Laina was terrified of the fireworks the neighbors were doing and we spent a lot of that time inside alone trying to calm down for the “big” fireworks. We were only 5 minutes from home at a friend’s house but she was terrified and nearly convulsing with every noise. So we left. In the middle of the fireworks.

She went to sleep pretty easily even with all the noise outside but starting at about 1 am she would cry out about every 30 minutes. She did that off an on all night. When she woke up in the morning she just starting calling “Mommy, mommy” which she never does. Once I got her out she was ok. We had a few tantrums in the morning- a little more than normal but over things that usually aren't an issue. We went to church where she seemingly did ok in the nursery (thanks Laura and Kathryn!). But after that is where it all went downhill. I cant even begin to explain how extreme she was acting and how quickly she bounced from happiness to utter chaos. This behavior is pretty typical for her personality but this level was different. Thank God for my husband coming outside and being the Laina whisperer- we actually had a few minutes of peace and it was amazing. 

We went home- she threw a few more fits about nothing and I rocked her while she cried until she fell asleep. I should add that I cant remember the last time either of these two things happened. I have tried to rock her to sleep the last few months (she is turning 2 soon and I'm losing my baby!) and she just wants to play with me. And it seems like years since she has cried herself to sleep. But there she was- asleep on my shoulder. I held her for a little awhile and watched her in the mirror trying to remember how her sweet face looked all squished on my dress. I could have held her forever (but I didn’t...mama needs a break and it’s time for lunch!) So I walked out of her room feeling victorious and defeated all at the same time. I know - like everything with kids - it won’t last forever and soon this day will just be a memory. 

But I just wanted to share this with the other mamas that had a rough 5th of July (or any other day!) The days at the Britnell house are constantly filled with high highs and low lows and not a lot of in-between but that makes life so much more interesting. Having a strong-willed child is great- maybe not today- but I wouldn't trade today for a boring day if it meant losing all our great super extreme happy days. So don't wish away today, or this week, or this stage- but know you're not alone. And know that we have a whole year before we have to do the 5th of July again. 

...jessica britnell

Trusting Your Baby- Alexia Estes

If you you know me, it’s likely you already know that my little guy struggled with weight gain early on. As a result, I’ve become very paranoid about how much he’s eating and making sure he’s gaining weight well.

He’s been doing great since he hit about 6.5/7 months, but like many babies, his eating habits fluctuate, and it has become a little nerve wrecking for me! Once Jack finally started eating his solids well, his formula intake dropped significantly. At his 9 month appointment, his pediatrician said he was growing really well, so his 15-20oz per day, plus solids, was just fine.

When Jack started getting better at drinking from a straw cup I eventually eliminated all day time bottles and offered formula only in a cup. He would get a bottle each morning and at bedtime, but that was it. Once he really got the hang of it, closer to 11 months, his formula intake dropped again. He would take a full 5-6oz from his first bottle, but sometimes only 4-6oz TOTAL during the day. As long as he finished 5-6oz from his nighttime bottle I wasn’t too worried. But then THAT started to drop, too. Sometimes he would take only a few ounces, sometimes nothing at all! I even tried giving him a smaller dinner, but that didn’t work! I started to worry that he was going to become dehydrated, or that he wasn’t getting the right nutrition for a child under 1.

So being the paranoid mother that I am, I made an 11 month well check with our pediatrician. I know, I know, there’s a well check at 12 months. But I didn’t want to wait another month to find out if my baby was growing well and take the chance that something was wrong!

We found out at this well check that since his 9 month appt, Jack had gained 1lb 12oz and about 2 inches in length. He was steady at the 50th percentile, which was up from the 10th percentile at 6 months. I still asked a lot of questions. Is it ok that he’s not drinking much? Should I offer other liquids? Should we go back to daytime bottles?

Our pediatrician kept emphasizing that I should follow his lead. Trust him. Baby knows what he needs. Even if he doesn’t seem to be eating and drinking much.

The thing about babies is that they haven’t learned how to manipulate their hunger. I see a piece of chocolate cake and can consume it regardless of how full I am. Many people eat less in order to change they way they look. Not babies. They don’t even have this concept. What babies know is hunger and fullness. And, unlike most of us adults, they eat just what they need - no more and no less. If we try to force them to eat more, we may have a mess to clean up later.

One thing I do NOT want to teach Jack, or any of my future children, is to ignore their own hunger and satisfaction cues. Many of us grew up being told to eat one more bite of vegetables or to clean our plates. I’m not criticizing any of our parents, but I certainly don’t want my child to become an overeater because I think he’s not eating enough. Who am I to say how hungry he is?

It’s hard for me to not keep offering Jack one more bite when he’s already indicated he’s done. It’s really hard. But I have to trust my baby. He won’t starve himself. He hasn’t even learned the concept nor does he have any reason to. I have to trust that if he says no, he really doesn’t need it.

Jack is just over 20 months now, but I know that many parents of older children have the same struggle. It doesn’t just end with babies - the struggle will continue throughout our children’s lives. I hope that as Jack gets older I am able to teach him a healthy view of food and nutrition so that when he does learn that he can over or under eat, he will have no desire to do either.

And in the meantime, I’m going to trust that my baby knows when he’s hungry and when he’s full.

Jessica's LWB Top 10 List

In honor of David Letterman’s farewell show I wanted to do a Top 10 Things I Love about LWB list. But in true mom form Im a little late. I love so much about this group and all its wonderful mamas- this is just a list of some of my favorite things about our awesome network! (Not necessarily in any order)

#10 Sometimes you just need a good laugh. You ladies post things and ask questions in a way that literally makes me laugh out loud. I love it! We can all relate and I love how we can laugh at ourselves. One of my favorites is from Courtney Steen Turner on Valentines Day:  

Only you ladies will get this, haha. Valentine's Day plans conversation (last night):

Husband: My parents called and offered to take the baby tomorrow afternoon. 

Me: Oh? What time?

Hubs: I said no. We don't have any plans!

Me: What? We can MAKE plans! What time are they offering? 

Hubs: I'm not really interested.... we'd have to drive out there (20 min drive), come back into town, do whatever, go back and get her, come back into town... Not worth the effort... 

Me: How about we drop her off, come home, have some quality naked time, take a long nap, then go pick her up?

Hubs: (stares at me open-mouthed for a minute) ... I'll call them back. 

Hubs: (after he talks to his folks) This is why I married you.

#9 Mom’s Night Out. Im not going to lie...every month when this evening comes around Im tired from the day and then I see my husband (aka babysitter for the evening) get in his comfy clothes and I cant help but think how I want to get in my comfy clothes and get all settled in for the night too. But then I get to MNO and Im SO glad I didn't give up before I got there. Its a little like a flashback to a previous world but now with other mamas that can relate to where you are in life. I always meet someone new and its just a nice way to spend the evening. 

#8 My daughter has thousands of potential playmates. I never worry if my daughter will get enough socialization because I know that every week we will see some familiar faces and likely some new faces. Her first year was pretty rough and she spent less hours than I can count on 1 hand away from mom or dad. (Ladies- if you have family in town don’t take that for granted!) But she did gets lots of socialization with other moms and babies. Just being around other adults helped open up her tiny world and I couldn't have done it so easily without this group. Now she looks forward to “go play with friends”  and even tells me certain kids she wants to play with because its a particular day of the week!

#7 Family Fun Day. These are some of my favorite because its bringing in the Dads with Babies too and I love seeing our little family spend time with other sweet families. (Plus Gretchen usually does stuff in Texas wine country, brewery etc and its easy to get the guys on board )

#6 I love that we are all about Non-Judgmental sharing. No group is perfect and certainly not one full of hormonal women ;) but we strive as a group to keep this a safe and encouraging place. We don't all have to see eye to eye and as moms there are a million different stances we can take on a million different topics but thats not always the point. I love that in this group its more important to be together than to be right. There are plenty of ways to have constructive conversations and I appreciate not feeling like I’ll be attacked for putting my thoughts (or top 10 list haha) out there for the LWB world.

#5 Getting out of the house. Not only do we have weekly meet-ups planned, but you ladies are always posting about going to the park, or checking out new bakeries, or meeting at the splash pad. Its so great to know there are other people in the same place in life as me just needing to get out for some “fresh air”. Getting the babies to cooperate so we can actually be at the same place at the same time is another story but you gotta start somewhere. 

#4 There is power in numbers and I love all the wonderful things this group has done together. From reaching out to our neighbors in need, to donating Christmas gifts for a teen boys home, to raising money to help families during personal tragedy, to supporting our community during recent storms, the list goes on and on. There are so many of you that give generously of your time, money, organizational skills, and personal resources. I am honored to be a part of such a caring group of ladies. 

#3 Building community together. This group started with a handful of people (seriously, like 12) and look at what we have grown together. And Im not talking about numbers. Im talking about the communities we have built together, the friendships and connections we have made. I have met so many of you through this group- and I have gone out of my way to meet some of you to add to the group because I had a place to connect you to. Without this group we may have just kept passing each other on the trail week after week pushing our babies alone, or sitting at story time together without really ever getting to know each other. I love meeting new moms and having this group to share with them. Its such a wonderful community full of endless resources on our journey together through motherhood. 

#2 Leading with an Amazing group of Mamas. The girls on the LWB Leadership Team and our Region Leaders are seriously amazing. And they truly care about the health of this group and its members. I cant imagine serving with a more wonderful group of women!

#1 Knowing Im doing what God has called me to do. I believe with all my heart that God has me in this group to support, encourage and learn from all you fellow moms.  I deeply love this group and all the families it represents, and am thankful I don't have to do any of this in my own power but through God who gives me strength and guidance. 

I hope you have found some things to love about this group too. Thanks for being a part of Ladies with Babies!

.....Jessica Britnell

Restore Her - by Laura Brown

Hey ladies! I am so excited by the response and generosity already shown through the Restore Her drive LWB has been doing. As many of you have seen, we are gathering items needed for the little girls house at the Restore Her program out at Still Creek Ranch.

I wanted to share just a little bit more information about what the program is all about and why it’s such a great cause to support.

Still Creek Ranch is a place for children (both boys and girls) who basically need to be rescued out of a crisis environment. The circumstances of each individual’s past differ but include things like severe abuse, severe neglect or abandonment, sexual abuse, or even sex trafficking. The ages they take are between 5 and 17. Still Creek Ranch is different from places like Residential Treatment Facilities (who shelter foster children temporarily) because Still Creek Ranch does not accept any government funding and additionally provides a long term home for the children they take in. The ranch provides a home environment for the children who live in homes with two permanent parental figures (a house mom and dad). There is a school onsite that the children attend, and they are involved in a lot of agricultural, equestrian, and athletic programs as well as routine counseling. As students graduate from high school they are given scholarships and lots of transition help to get an education and secure a positive future. Many of the former participants come back to the ranch to help and motivate those still in the program.

Restore Her is a specific program at the ranch that is for girls who have been victims of sexual abuse and/or sex trafficking. The girls are split into two houses-one for the little girls, and one for the older girls. Our mission, is to help out the little girls house, which is older and just needs some new stuff! Again, Still Creek Ranch doesn’t take any government funding and thus they rely solely on the generosity of people who believe that their mission is worthwhile. If you join the event and look at the spreadsheet of things that the house mom said she needs, you’ll see things needed from razors, to softball gloves, etc. The information on the spreadsheet shows you how you can ship items directly to the site! Please, please, don’t be tricked into thinking that what you can afford to give is too insignificant to make a difference. If you have $5 to give, then that is something that can make an impact! Some of the items are larger, and the event page is a great hub for people to discuss pitching in money to get some of the bigger stuff!

It is, of course, easy to condemn sexual abuse and trafficking, but more important than condemning is doing what we can do to support programs that work to stop it. We can come together and each give what we can and we can make a huge difference for the lives of these girls and their wonderful house parents!

Here’s the link to join the event on facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/events/1122251017792489/

Please feel free to contact me, Laura Brown, with any questions!

Gym Daycare- By Alexia

When it comes to working out, I go through phases. I always feel better when I have a regular workout routine, but life has ebbs and flows, and therefore so does my routine.

Enter baby. Exit workout routine. And even after I was cleared to resume physical exertion beyond walking, I was still running on very little sleep and learning how to take care of a very tiny human. And I just didn’t have the courage to use the gym day care.

Since we were now a family of 3, my in-laws offered to buy us a membership to our local YMCA. We didn’t take them up on it for a while, but by the time Jack was about 9 months old I was really itching to get back into it. So we signed up and I promised myself I’d make every effort to go 2-4 times each week.

Even though Jack was now 9 months old, I was still a bit timid about putting him in daycare at the Y. I have left him other places many times, but it has always been either with family, or at a place where I can take time to talk to the caregivers, get to know them, and even watch him play for a bit. It doesn’t work this way at the Y. When I drop Jack off at the Y, I have to pass him over to the sweet girl at the Child Watch front desk, and she takes him back to the infant area. Granted, I can see through the window to that area, but I don’t get to talk to his caregivers or interact with him in that space. Maybe I’m overprotective, but that made me a little nervous.

The first several days when I picked Jack up he was visibly upset and crying. The second day I was even asked to come and get him because they weren’t able to console him. I was disappointed, sure, but decided to keep trying so that he would have an opportunity to learn to be away from me and become comfortable with new people in a new environment.

We continued to go to the Y about 3 times a week and each time Jack got a little bit better. After just a few weeks I could see that he was playing when I went to pick him up, and he was even smiling and laughing when they passed him back to me. I also learned a few things about what I can do to help Jack have a good time when I leave him with other caregivers.

1. Have a well rested baby! I always go to the gym mid morning after Jack’s first nap. His first nap is often not that great, but at least he has had something. I don’t suggest going later and rushing home just before nap time. That risks having your baby become more upset about being without you the closer it gets to nap time.

2. Have a well fed baby! When Jack wakes up from his first nap, he gets some milk and snacks. That way when I drop him off, I know he has a full tummy (or as full as he would allow it to get!). I also send him with snacks just in case he decides he wants more while I’m working out. This ensures there are no tears due to a hungry baby!

3. Use the paci/lovey! If your baby takes a paci, make sure they have it, or whatever lovey or comfort item they prefer. Jack only gets his paci at sleep times, but I found it to also be helpful when he’s separated from me. The days I’ve forgotten it tend to be the days he’s upset when I pick him up. As he gets older and drops the paci, I’ll make sure he has some favorite toy or lovey to take with him if it’s still needed - and I’ll buy a backup just in case!

4. Keep Trying! Like I said, the first few times Jack stayed in the day care at the gym, he didn’t like it. But the more we go, the more he gets used to it. And now he even has a lot of fun!

For those of you who have hesitated to return to the gym with your baby, I hope this give you some encouragement. It can be intimidating to leave your baby with the gym childcare staff, but it is so worth it to get your own time to do something for yourself!

-Alexia Estes