Water Safety Tips- by Jessica

I grew up in Florida and have a very vivid memory of the day I learned to swim in my grandparents swimming pool. My Aunt and Uncle taught me and it was moments like that that encouraged me to really invest in the lives of my nieces and nephews. But now as a parent I feel an even greater sense of responsibility and protection over my daughter. 

We are traveling to Florida for family visits in May and I know this trip will involve lots of water time. Last year it wasn't as much of an issue because our child had to be held constantly regardless of land or sea. But this year I know our rambunctious and curious toddler will be a different story. I decided to do a little research and thought some of you may benefit from what I found too. 

I am not a swim instructor, I have no experience with babies and water- just a regular mom trying to prepare myself to keep my kid safe. So here’s what I found...

Basic Tips

*Its a great idea to take a Infant/Child CPR class. I actually have to keep my certification current for work and my husband learned through our NICU class so this one was easy for me. But here are some links to local classes if you are interested.  (The one I do is for medical professionals through work so I cant recommend one of these first hand but ours are through the American Red Cross) 

This is an awesome, quick picture reference if you know you will never take a class (but classes are ideal) http://depts.washington.edu/learncpr/infantcpr.html

http://www.redcross.org/tx/austin/take-a-class

https://austintexas.gov/department/ems-community-outreach

http://cprofaustin.com/id3.html

http://austinbabyguru.com/award-winning-infant-safety-cpr-class/

http://www.stdavids.com/connect-with-us/events-classes/maternity-and-newborn-classes

http://www.setonbabytalk.com/your-pregnancy/preparing-for-baby

*Always keep a child that cant swim WELL within arms reach. This is one of your best defenses against child drowning. 

*Any time you are near water, make sure your child is wearing a properly fitting flotation device that is approved by the US Coast Guard. Don't rely on inflatable toys (like water wings) to keep your baby/toddler safe in the water. This one was a little harder for me- I didn't even know they had “approved devices”. But Google knows. And there are lots of places to order one online and local stores that sell them as well. (USCG approved) 

This article was a little advanced for my needs right now but it seemed to have great info if anyone wants more specifics on finding the right life vest for your child. http://www.parents.com/kids/safety/other-safety-issues/choosing-life-jackets-for-kids/

*If you are going to a public pool, lake, or beach do some research to see if there are options for places with lifeguards on duty and rescue equipment in good condition. Bring your phone for emergencies (and poolside photo-ops!)

For Home Pools and Spas: 

(If you have one, likely you already know way more than I do but here are a few tips anyways)

*If you have a permanent pool have a fence around the entire perimeter that is at least 4 feet high with a self-closing, self-latching gate that opens away from the pool. Always insure the gate is locked when the pool is not in use and make sure there aren't things near the fence the child can use to climb over. 

*Make sure the drain has an anti-entrapment cover or drain safety system in place. “The suction from a pool drain can be strong enough to hold even an adult underwater, pulling on the hair or on the body and forming a seal. Missing or faulty covers often cause the problem, and an upgrade may save a life.” (babycenter.com)

*Remove toys from the pool and pool area to avoid drawing your child over to the area to play. 

*Drain inflatable or plastic wading pools after each use and keep them upright when stored. 

This article http://www.webmd.com/children/features/new-pool-safety-gadgets-help-prevent-drowning has some interesting information about safeguarding your home pool. It talks about a study conducted by the Consumer Product Safety Commission regarding child drownings that occurred while children were supervised. The statistics are surprising (especially the ones that drown while there were thought to be sleeping). 

Something I think we all should know: 

What to do if my child slips under the water

*Again- never leave a child unattended in water- not even for a second. 

If they slip under for a moment they will likely come up coughing. 

But if they’ve been under for longer than a moment you will need to act QUICKLY and CALMLY. 

*Lift your child out of the water

*Gently tap or shake your child to see if they respond. If they are unresponsive, aren't breathing, or have no pulse- IMMEDIATELY start infant CPR. 

*If someone is nearby, shout for help and tell them to call 911. 

*If you are ALONE, preform 2 Minutes  of CPR then pause to call 911. (another great step by step for CPR with drowning http://www.webmd.com/first-aid/drowning-treatment)

*Continue doing CPR until the child begins breathing on their own or until emergency medical personnel arrive. 

*If your child has come close to drowning, immediately take her to the emergency room for a complete medical evaluation. Even if she appears fine, she may have inhaled water and stopped breathing, which could cause lung or nervous system damage.

There are also risks for Dry Drowning and Secondary Drowning that are less obvious:

*Symptoms: Coughing,Chest pain,Trouble breathing,Feeling extremely tired,Your child may also have changes in behavior such as such as irritability or a drop in energy levels, which could mean the brain isn't getting enough oxygen.

What to do: If your child has any s/s of dry/secondary drowning its important to get them checked out. Its likely they will get better with a little time but if they aren't its important to act quickly to treat the problem right away to prevent complications. 

This article has more info about Dry and Secondary Drowning http://www.webmd.com/children/features/secondary-drowning-dry-drowning

With any type of drowning please know that even after they are breathing there are other potential complications including dilution of their blood from fresh water or pool water that can cause deadly electrolyte imbalances, aspiration infections and lung complications, potential brain damage from lack of oxygen to name a few.

As a nurse with a background in Trauma and Critical Care Ive see a lot of things that aren't necessarily likely, but they happened anyway. While most of us will thankfully never experience a drowning or near-drowning with our children- please don't just assume it wont happen to you. Drowning remains the second-leading cause of injury-related death for children. Thats not something to ignore. 

This article turned a little more grim than I had originally anticipated but I hope it provided helpful information that can potentially help save a life. It gets hot here in Austin, Texas and I intend to enjoy the water during the summertime. Lets stay safe out there friends!!

......Jessica Britnell

Lissie's Love for Essential Oils

No matter where you go, it's hard to get around without hearing about essential oils.  Whether it's the display awkwardly placed in the middle of the aisle in the grocery store or the incessant offers of samples on your FB post, they are the recommended remedy for everything from snoring husbands and fussy babies to runny noses and ear infections. I've even read testimonies of oil use for fertility, cancer, thyroid...you name it.   Oily people joke that "There's an oil for that!" and the more you learn about them, the more you'll think it's really true!

I first heard about essential oils back when my dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2012.  Neither of my parents were interested in chemotherapy so my mom and I started looking into alternative treatments and we read a TON about the use of Frankincense to digest and destroy cancer cells.  Wow!! Unfortunately, my dad was much sicker than we originally realized and he died only a few months later.  

Fast forward 3 years and my baby, Jacqueline, got a UTI about 2-3 months into her precious little life.  Though we picked up her prescribed antibiotics, I decided to call my friend in KY to see if the mysterious and magical essential oils (that I'd been reading about on her FB page) could help us kick this UTI.  

Lo and behold, they could!  And, she had a local girl who would hook us up with a sample!  

Natural AND free??  That's like gold in this house.

So, we packed our baby into the car, and headed out to Round Rock to meet our dealer. ;)  Lisa was as sweet as can be as she dropped our oils into the baby food jar we had purchased solely for our oils.  She gave me 10 drops each of Young Living's Melrose, Frankincense and Purification and sent us on our way.

We added coconut oil to the essential oils and applied this mixture to Jacqueline's lower abdomen and feet every single time we changed her diaper.  After about a week, we returned to the doctor for another test to see how the UTI was doing.

It was GONE!!!

And...I was hooked.

I was thrilled to find a natural, time-tested remedy that could help my family and we've been using them for pretty much everything since.  

I am by no means an expert...and I'm sure I'll never be.  However, after a year of using oils, I can definitely make some recommendations on how people can use oils with their children. 

So, here are some of my favorites!

Lavender

Often dubbed the "Swiss Army Knife" of oils, Lavender has so many uses and if you don't know what oil to use...just use Lavender and it will often help!

We like it for burns, bug bites, bruises, skin issues and sleep.

Purification

Awesome to help get rid of stink -- um, can you say diaper pail?!  We've also used it for bug bites, bug spray, coughs and general cleansing of the air.

Melrose

This blend will always be my hero cause it was in the concoction that helped us with that UTI.  I've also given this oil to friends fighting mastitis or with a little one working on repeat ear issues and they have not been disappointed!

Thieves

This gem is our germ killer!!  It's named after the Thieves who used a blend of oils on themselves that enabled them to steal from those dead and dying from the plague without getting the plague themselves!  Um...yes, please!!

We diffuse it regularly during the winter months and I always put it on Miss J's feet when she's going to be around other kiddos to help boost her immunity.  We also use it in a spray bottle on shopping carts and restaurant tables --  since we all know it's impossible to stop baby from mouthing those -- and any time we feel that telling tickle in the throat.

Rosemary

After trying everything for Jacqueline's first real struggle with congestion, I diffused this during her nap and she woke with a dry nose!!  Now, I often mix it with Lavender to dry her up and calm her down.

RC is another one that we love to use for nose issues.  It's got a medley of eucalyptus oils in it, just like the popular Vicks rub, only with this, you don't get any yucky petrochemicals! Win!!

Peace and Calming

Can you say sleep training??  This oil got our whole family through that phase with wild success!  I've also heard that it helps calm husbands and dogs in the evenings. ;)

I could keep going but I'll stop there.  I haven't even TOUCHED on my favorite oils for mommy but I guess I should save something for a future post, right!?

If you're already using oils and want to connect with oily mamas, or would like to learn more about how we are using them, ask to join the Oily LWB page and we'll be happy to add you to the group!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/OILYLADIESWITHBABIES/

Also, using oils has become a passion for me and I love sharing that passion with others.  So, if you're wanting to learn more, ask!! Whether it's a simple email explaining the ins and outs, or meeting up some time so you can see, smell and touch, we can make it happen.

Love,

Lissie

OilsBeforeMeds@gmail.com

Disclaimer

I am not a doctor and this post is not purposed to replace professional medical diagnosis, treatment or advice. These are my personal testimonies of using essential oils only.. Use of any information from the content of this site solely at your own risk.

I am a wholesale member for Young Living oils and as such I receive compensation when I share YL oils with others. Though this was an unexpected perk of starting my own oily adventure, I would never promote anything I didn't use myself and in which I didn't  truly believe.

Ramblings of a Twin Mom: Our Journey to Parenthood By Lauren

It all started in a CVS bathroom… . I had felt so nauseous that day and decided to buy a pregnancy test on my way home…but of course I couldn’t wait till I got home to take it. I was kinda notorious for peeing on a stick in a CVS bathroom anytime I felt nauseous for no reason…so I wasn’t expecting it to ACTUALLY be positive! We weren’t trying and I was on birth control at the time, but all of a sudden we were staring parenthood in the face six months earlier than we had planned,  and we were thrilled! We announced the news to our close friends and family immediately. Three weeks later we went to the dr. for our first ultrasound. As I watched the technician’s face, I knew something was not right. She immediately said“hold on” and rushed out of the room. She was gone for what seemed like the longest time! The dr. came in to take a look and gave us the bad news that there was no heartbeat, and then proceeded to tell me that I had a very “weird uterus”. She told me to come back in 3 weeks. THREE. LONG. WEEKS. We were devastated but held on to hope. We didn’t know what else to do during that awkward three week window when we may or may not be having a baby in 8 months. We certainly didn’t talk about baby names or plan out the nursery. We just prayed. When we went back, it was found that the embryo had grown, but still no heartbeat, and we were told to come back in a couple weeks….seriously?! This went on for two months, when finally it was determined to be an unviable pregnancy. We were devastating to say the very least. I’m sure many of you know the feeling of losing a baby. It’s an unexplainably painful experience.  It’s like being on top of the world and tumbling to the deepest valley in a matter of seconds! It’s a feeling I wish for no one…EVER.

During my D&C, it was discovered that I had a septum (a non-blood-bearing wall) straight down the middle of my uterus and through my cervix. Basically, my uterus and cervix were divided in half by this wall. That explains the “weird uterus” comment. We were told this would need to be surgically corrected to decrease my chances of having another miscarriage; however, because of my recent pregnancy we would need to wait 5-6 months before we could have the surgery to let my uterus go back to normal. I was pretty anxious to try again….I remember all I wanted was to be pregnant again…to have that hope back. But now we were being told we had to wait up to 6 months before the surgery and up to 6 months after the surgery to try again. This was the desert…the place where God would test our faith. The times where I would wonder if God heard my cries…Now, I know he did. He had a bigger and better plan ahead than I could ever imagine; but, in that desert my husband and I were hurt, lonely, and sad. I know many of you who have struggled with infertility or miscarriages know this desert all too well. You’ve been in this place, and It’s not pretty. 

About a year after the miscarriage we found out we were pregnant again. Finding out you are pregnant after a miscarriage is not the same. You are filled with joy, yes, but that joy is overshadowed by fear, worry, and the need to protect your heart. This time we decided not to tell anyone until we at least heard a heartbeat. But, unfortunately, we never did. After all that waiting and undergoing surgery to correct what we thought was the problem, we had another miscarriage. I can’t begin to explain the sadness, anger, and frustration we felt….yet, more desert.

I ended up seeing a fertility specialist after the second miscarriage. He suggested Clomid although I had no problem whatsoever GETTING pregnant. My problem was STAYING pregnant. However, he said it would boost my progesterone levels during early pregnancy if I were to get pregnant which would decrease my chances of having a miscarriage. Oh, and have a 10% chance of having multiples….yea, that too! But we didn’t care if we ended up with 8, we just wanted a baby, so we agreed to try it. The funny thing is I had always wanted twins. Seriously, as long as I could remember, I thought it would be so fun to have twins! Ha- Life is funny sometimes!  I went in when I was 6 weeks pregnant. Honestly, we weren’t really expecting to hear a heartbeat…I think it was our way of protecting our hearts yet again.  (At this time, the dr only saw one sac so we had no idea there were two) But, we FINALLY got to hear a heartbeat, which was the sweetest, most healing sound ever in the world!! It’s weird to think how a sound can give you hope and healing, but that one tiny heartbeat definitely started that healing process!  A couple weeks later, I went in for a follow up- BY MYSELF- and the ultrasound technician said “How many babies did the dr. said you had?” I was thinking to myself “who says that?! What a stupid question!” But I didn’t say that, I just looked at her funny and said “one.” She said, “Well,  you’ve got two perfect little heartbeats in here!”  Naturally, I cried…. out of happiness of course… and maybe a little out of fear. 

From then on out my pregnancy was pretty normal with lots and lots of dr. appts and sonograms (one of the perks of twin pregnancy). It was going great up until 24 weeks. At that time my cervix had thinned to 1.5 cm. I was hospitalized immediately and had a procedure done the next day to get an emergency cerclage, which is a stitch in my cervix to keep it from dilating as long as possible. Following the cerclage, was a month of bedrest. Well, modified bedrest…the kind where you can’t go to work or go to the store but you can sit around and watch movies, get up and get icecream out of the freezer, etc…it was great for the first week, then it got pretty old and boring (oh, to have that time back now!). After I was cleared I went back to work full-time until December 10 when I was 34 weeks; 4 days. I woke up that morning having contractions. I went to see my OBGYN who took out my cerclage, and within a few hours I was dilated to a 4, then a 6, then I heard the dr. say “get ready. We’re having a C-section in 20 minutes.” I was NOT expecting that! The C-Section I was expecting because Baby B (Maggie) was breach, but what I wasn’t expecting was to be a mother of two within an hour! I was a complete wreck! I was so nervous to be staring motherhood in the face, and not know what condition my 34 week old babies would be in. The next half-hour was pretty terrifying and incredible all at the same time. Eleanor was born first and weighed only 3lb; 12oz. Maggie weighed 4 lb; 1oz. I got to see them for less than a minute, and I think I might have gotten to hold Maggie. Then they were whisked away to the NICU for monitoring. The next couple weeks of being a NICU mom were some of the most challenging and trying weeks of our lives. But, fifteen days later (on Christmas Day) we finally got to bring our babies home! 

Our journey to parenthood is full of a lot of heartache and a lot of joy, but honestly, I wouldn’t change it for the world! After two years and two miscarriages, God brought us out of the desert and blessed us with TWO beautiful baby girls. HIS PLAN WAS BIGGER!

“So we can rejoice in the unknown and look for opportunities to have faith because without the opportunity to have faith it is impossible to please God.”  

MOM GENES? By Gretchen

I have anxiety about the label “mom” and I dislike writing. So when preparing to write this blog post for you all, I hope you can imagine the internal conflict I am facing evening as I type this. 

There was a BIG part of me that just wanted to cut and paste Olive’s birth story that yes, my husband wrote. But the whole point of this blog is to let you into our transparent lives, and hopefully someone will be encouraged by what we have to say. 

So here I go.

There was never really a point in my life, during pregnancy or even this last year, that I spent a lot of time thinking about motherhood. Yes, I knew one day I’d most likely be a mother. Yes, I did set up a nursery. And yes, I was up every three hours breastfeeding… but truly in all of that, I spent most of my time thinking about that unknown 4^th lyric in the rhyme “First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby in the baby carriage”… 

Really, what happens after baby carriage?

For the longest time I believed that maybe I didn’t have the “mom gene”. You know, that feeling inside of you that supposedly get’s all excited about onesies and small socks? Never felt it. It was a real confusing time for me, because I LOVED my daughter, I believed this was God’s best plan for me, but I just didn’t seem to really care about all the “hoopla” that somehow attaches itself to motherhood. Because of that I started to believe lies that maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this new job, or that there was something wrong with me. 

It took me awhile to finally see the truth in this matter, and that truth is there is no “ONE SIZE FITS ALL” to motherhood. If God did not create us to be robots then He didn’t create mothers to be either. I remember so clearly the friendships I made as a new mother. It was so freeing and encouraging meeting and knowing other moms who felt the same way I did. 

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for the feeding, the napping, the sippy cup conversations, but what I want to encourage others and be encouraged in, is that motherhood is a very important role we play - but it’s not our identity. 

The author of Ecclesiastes said, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:” How true is that! There will be a season for baby rearing (I’m in that), but let’s not loose sight of the big picture. While every role we play is important and the season God puts us through doesn’t last forever, my charge to you (and myself included) would be: what do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered? How do you want your kids to remember you? For me, I want Olive to see her mom doing more than just folding laundry and house cleaning. I want her to know that her mom loved God and loved people well.

So, how are your mom genes fitting these days?

Fighting for you,

Gretchen

Mommy Worry: The Good, the Bad, and the Embarrassingly Ugly- By Kara Kopecky

I wish someone would have warned me about Mommy Worry.  I had heard a lot about mommy guilt, but the worry part really surprised me and hit me like a ton of bricks when we brought Abigail home.  Perhaps this is partially due to our adoption story and the fact that I never had the typical, and not so typical, worries that come with pregnancy.  I never once worried about Abigail’s birthmother miscarrying.  I never once worried about Abigail having a birth defect.  I never once worried about a first or second ultrasound, a heartbeat check, glucose levels, preterm labor, preeclampsia, etc. – you get my drift.  I’m sure this is because I spent our entire time of being matched simply worrying that our birthmother would change her mind (which is no fun either) but it finally struck me as odd that I never worried about “Abigail the baby” until my husband asked me one night if I ever worry about Abigail being born healthy.  I looked at him blankly and said, “I never even think about that.  Of course she’s healthy!” 

So what a surprise it was to finally bring our baby girl home and then instantly find myself struck with obsessive worrying … about pretty much everything.  

***Now before I go any further, a quick disclaimer: The below account of my Mommy Worry is meant to be humorous and encouraging to others experiencing obsessive worry as a new mom.  However, there are sometimes “good” reasons to worry depending on your own baby’s circumstances.  I am NOT making light of that whatsoever.  My story centers on the fact that I had NO legitimate reason for Mommy Worry, yet I was consumed with it nonetheless***  

My first stage of worrying began the first night we brought her home: what if she suddenly stops breathing?  This resulted in many nights the first few weeks of me checking on her several times throughout the night while she (and my husband) slept soundly.  It was as though I could not get my mind around how a tiny little fragile human being could breathe throughout the night… without me staring at her like a crazy person.  I obsessively researched SIDS, bought all of the recommended baby gear to help prevent SIDS, laid her to sleep on her back, and stayed up almost all night every night for days (even during my husband’s “feeding” shifts!).  

The sense of fear I had about Abigail suddenly dying in her sleep was intense, something I had never encountered before in my life. 

 I felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility to keep her alive not only for her sake, but also for the sake of her birthmother who chose us and trusted us to keep her healthy and alive.  It seemed everywhere I turned, there was another news article posted about SIDS prevention, and the laundry list of dos and don’ts related to SIDS made my head spin.   Was I doing everything I could to prevent SIDS??  This was only the beginning of my Mommy Worry.

At Abigail’s 2 week appointment, everything looked great, she was healthy and content and I was actually thinking, we’re doing ok here!  We’ve got this!  Until… the doctor says to me, “Abigail is gaining weight on the fast side and we should probably monitor her intake more closely in the coming weeks/months.  Make sure you are not overfeeding her.” Of course, my first question was, well why is it such a bad thing for her to be growing so well?  And how do you overfeed a baby??  And he simply answers, “Well she could get pretty chubby if she keeps gaining weight at this rate.”  Um, ok?  Since when is letting a newborn baby gain weight a bad thing?? (Side note 1: I have since switched doctors.  Side note 2: I am a weight conscious person by nature so this type of conversation struck a cord in me that I did not like one bit).  

The damage was done and I was now obsessively worried about my perfectly contented 2 week old getting too chubby.  

This was the beginning of Mommy Worry: Stage 2.  Looking back, it’s easy to say, why the heck did I care so much?  I cared because, as an uncertain new mom with a huge need for approval (living in a society obsessed with weight), I needed that doctor to say I was doing everything right and my baby was not going to be on the Biggest Loser someday.   I took what he said to mean I was doing something wrong and Abigail was going to suffer her whole life for it.  The ironic part is that Abigail has always been an excellent eater, never once would even spit up (no joke), has never had reflux or colic, very little gas – basically every drop of formula that went in that baby’s mouth ended up in her belly, which is a GOOD thing for a tiny little newborn.  I could not believe that I was now to worry about her “getting pretty chubby.”

There was no way in hell I was going to put my 2 week old on a diet.  

So I carried on as usual, only for the next several months I would seriously cry the night before a well check for fear of what she would weigh.  I obsessively compared her to other babies.  I heard comment after comment about how my baby was the chubbiest baby someone had ever seen. “What do you feed her” followed with a laugh, was quite common from strangers.  I googled, found charts, EVERYTHING to try and make myself feel ok about Abigail being a chubby baby.  And you know what?  She WAS a chubby baby.  Off the charts in weight her entire life and still is at 13 months.  But she is also tall and beautiful and healthy and active.  I kind of want to punch that doctor in the face.  I also want to tell strangers to SHUT IT when you see a new mom and her baby.  We now have a doctor who loves Abigail’s chub, assures me we are doing just fine as parents, and this has allowed me to slowly let go of my Mommy Worry: Stage 2.  I am exhausted at this point… but there is one more stage to go.    

I have a whole forehead wrinkle I will devote to the worry over Mommy Worry: Stage 3 - “Milestones.”  I actually hate that word now.  Let me backtrack a bit and say that as part of an agency adoption you have 6 post placement reports to fill out and monthly visits with your social worker.  This is a good thing, as it ensures the child has been placed in a good home and is thriving.  This is a bad thing for Mommy Worry because it also ensures that every month you will obsessively report on what your baby is doing while also being “not so subtly” reminded of what they are still NOT doing based on general baby milestone guidelines.

Let’s just say that Abigail decided to give the baby milestone benchmarks the big fat middle finger from day 1.  

With the exception of sleeping through the night, which she did at 9 weeks and has never looked back (Praise God), and her ability to consume and digest food like a CHAMP, Abigail did every.single.major.milestone LATE.  Now a little side note about neurotic ‘ole me – I don’t do things LATE.  I am type A, always on time, have never missed a test or a deadline… so how was I to handle my laid back baby doing everything LATE??  (Obviously God has a sense of humor).  Of course a Type A like me would have the most laid back, “I don’t give a rat’s behind about some stupid milestone chart” baby in the world, right??  Regardless of the reason for it, during Abigail’s first 6 months of life, I googled milestones and “what your baby did at _months old” so much that google probably has me flagged as “CRAZY MOM”.  Here are some examples of the crazy: I obsessively compared what Abigail was doing to what other babies were doing all over the stupid internet baby message boards.  I obsessively compared what Abigail was doing to what other babies were doing at our playdates.  I reluctantly made her do tummy time even though she cried the whole time, which made me want to cry (she HATED tummy time until 7 months!!). I tried to “teach” her to roll after watching a youtube tutorial (ughhh).  I put her in swim class in hopes that the activity would help her develop her motor skills (she did NOT like swim class)  …  oh my, the list goes on.    

You’re probably thinking, girl you are seriously crazy.  When is this madness going to stop??

Don’t worry, I was thinking the same thing.  You know when it stopped?  When I was driving home from swim class with Abigail one day, shortly before she turned 6 months.  I was CRYING because during the cheesy “goodbye” song where the babies her age are on their tummys looking all cute and some trying to CRAWL for goshsakes, my child was WAILING and barely lifting her head because she was so pissed off about being on her tummy.  As I heard her in the back of the car cooing and gurgling, happy as can be, I suddenly realized I AM PROJECTING MY OWN ISSUES ONTO MY INNOCENT PRECIOUS CHILD.  This Mommy Worry?  This obsession with charts, graphs, milestones, approval from doctors, approval from other moms, comparison to other babies, ALL OF THIS CRAP?  

Is my own personal garbage… my struggles with perfectionism, feelings of inadequacy, comparison to others, competition within myself, PRIDE, all of which I need to sort through, clean out, and give to God.  Because this child is GOD’s child entrusted to me, not my own personal badge of accomplishment.  This isn’t about me.  ABIGAIL IS HER OWN PERSON.

And you know what? That very next week, I finished our last post placement monthly report for the social worker and vowed to never look at another milestone chart or weight chart ever again.

Just days later, Abigail rolled over.  Both ways.  I am convinced she was laughing at me as she did it.

Fast forward to 13 months old, she’s laughing, rolling, crawling, cruising, and newly walking.  We have not attempted another swim class … yet 

-Kara

Finding Personal Time- by Morgan

I am 12 weeks pregnant with my second baby and life seems like it's going to only get harder from here on out! I'm so excited to be blessed with another child but also mourning the loss of any bit of personal time I've had thus far. 

I wanted to write about this because I feel guilty sometimes and feel like I'm being selfish wanting time alone. But, I know that it's a real issue and we all face it as moms. I think it's so important for us to find ways to carve out a little bit of time for ourselves and I think it looks different for everyone. 

I was blessed a few weeks ago to be able to but my son in a Mother's Day out program a few hours a week and I'm finding that it's really helping me. I try to use that time to run a few errands or clean my house and do things that I know that Ethan won't want to do with me so I can be more intentional with my time with him on the days that I have him all day.

One idea is finding one or two other moms who can keep each other's babies possibly once a week for a few hours and let the other moms do errands or clean your house baby free. Or sit at Starbucks and be able to think, read, or journal. I also think it's so important for us to be honest with ourselves and our significant others on what we need in order to stay physically mentally and emotionally healthy. 

I can't even describe how much of a blessing motherhood has been but also how taxing it is and how exhausted I seem to feel. This is such a vulnerable time in our own lives where I believe we have to get comfortable asking for help... And accepting it! It's a beautiful thing that we have a time in our life where our primary purpose is to serve and love and give but we have to find ways to feel served loved and given to as well. 

This post may not have a lot of answers, it's more a rambling of personal thoughts, but I want you to know that if you feel the same way I do you're not alone and there are options. I know there are ways that we can find time for ourselves and encourage one another.

-Morgan

Why Ruthie is Having a Repeat C-Section

If you've read my birth story with Ford, then that should be enough of an explanation as to why I am choosing to have a repeat C section, but I wanted to share more in detail. I hate that in today's times, I feel like I need to defend my choice because it really effects no one but me and my family but I want to share my story and hopefully encourage other mamas who feel defeated or judged for their birth plans. If you haven't read Ford's birth story, you can read it here.

In short, I never went into labor and was induced at 41 weeks with Ford. I am a very small woman who was measuring very large and my doctor didn't want me going much past 41 weeks with the chance of losing amniotic fluids and the baby getting too big for a vaginal delivery. Oh and it is illegal in Texas to go past 42 weeks under medical care. So induction day... I was barely dilated and experienced no signs of labor so Pitocin was given and my waters were broken. They don't call it labor for nothing, holy crap contractions are intense, especially unmedicated on Pitocin. I found out I had Thrombocytopenia (low blood platelet count, happens to 1% of women) which meant I couldn't get an epidural. That sucked. I labored for 8 hours on the highest dose of Pitocin, sans medication, and did not dilate ONE CENTIMETER. You heard that right. It was in that moment we decided a C section was the safest route for me and baby, and frankly I didn't care how he got here, I wanted to be out of pain. I had general surgery fully under, Jon wasn't allowed in the room, and I met Ford a few hours later. I get very sad when I hear about women feeling disappointed with having to have a C section because I feel like I had pretty much everything go wrong and my birth was the complete opposite than I could have ever imagined and I think I was sad for about 5 minutes. My son was alive and healthy, I was alive and healthy. Enough to make my heart swell with gratitude and love.

Jon meeting Ford for the first time, he was just a few minutes old 

Me meeting Ford a few hours later (even though I am awake, I don't remember any of this)

Recovery was rough and if I am being honest, there were times when I thought I could never do this again because it was that painful. But I healed. I am definitely guilty of assuming life will always be a certain way, especially when I am in a particularly tough season. Painful C section recovery, 4 month sleep regression, sick babies....you feel like the movie Groundhog Day will never end. But it does!

I realize I am getting way off topic here. Back to a repeat C section. Even after experiencing a 1 in 100 occurring birth story and one hell of a recovery, it was etched in stone that I did not want to experience labor ever again. Before I even became pregnant with baby #2, I knew I would be a repeat C section mama. Labor was traumatic and painful and I experienced enough in those 8 hours of trying to satisfy me for the rest of my life. Do I feel like I missed out on something because I didn't push a baby out my lady bits? Absolutely not. I feel victorious and powerful because I gave birth! Period! I don't feel like less of a woman or less of a mother but I feel grateful that I live in a time period in which I survived my son's birth. It's sad that birth has become a competitive sport. Why does it matter if someone got an epidural or chose a repeat C section or had the antibiotic goop put on their newly born baby's eyes. I can say without a doubt that my choice to have a repeat C section (and use the eye goop and vaccinate right after birth and circumcise at 2 days old) will not effect anyone but me and my baby.

At my very first prenatal appointment with baby #2, my doctor asked what my plan was. I am so thankful to go to a doctor who never tried to sway me one way or another but is 100% on board with my decision. I did not want to be talked into a VBAC nor if I wanted a VBAC did I want to be talked into a C section. I told her I was 100% positive I wanted another C section (as is Jon) but wanted to know why VBACs are so risky. Some doctors don't perform them and they cost more insurance-wise but I had no idea why. She informed me that when you have a contraction, there is a chance that the incision on your uterus from your C section would burst causing you to bleed and need an emergency hysterectomy (meaning no more children). In all her years of practice she has only had that happen to 1 of her patients and said the chances are 1%. Sure those are very low stats but having low blood platelets during labor only happens to 1% of people and it happened to me. I have stopped thinking of myself as "Oh it would never happen to me" because it did. I don't want to take the risk. Also, you cannot be induced for a VBAC and my track record of never even dilating or having a contraction for 41 weeks with Ford isn't great. If you've had a successful VBAC then I am so happy for you! Just as happy as I am for mamas who have 5 sections or 5 vaginal deliveries. The only birth that effects me is my own. Oh and I should mention that I only have a 1% chance of having Thrombo again and will get my blood tested a few days before my surgery so if the platelet count is low, I can have steroids to strengthen them so I can have a "normal C section". It kind of feels like the first time since Jon wasn't with me and I was out cold. We are so excited! Oh and I have mentioned this before but I have a hernia on my belly that developed after I gave birth to Ford and I need to get it surgically repaired. So even if I decided on a VBAC, I would need hernia surgery after Lucy is born which is often VERY painful and a tough recovery. Might as well piggy back it on with my C section and take advantage of dual recovery.

Choosing to have a scheduled C section has helped remove a lot of fears I have about giving birth again and I am grateful for that peace. I won't be lying awake at night wondering if tonight will be the night or worrying about what to do with Ford if I went into labor at 3am. I am not worried about those intense contractions and consumed my entire body and just the thought takes me back to a very haunted place in my mind. I know the recovery is going to be hard. It is going to plain suck, especially because I won't be able to pickup my toddler, but I am not scared. What is so incredibly freeing for me is knowing that The Lord knows the tiny details of this baby's birth day and has had it written on the palm of His hand since before creation. I can sit here all day weighing the pros and cons of choosing a C section or worrying that I will go into labor before my scheduled surgery but that is precious time wasted. He knows and whether it is a repeat C section, emergency C section, epidural labor, or home birth....it is perfect.

One more thing I want to add is just how beautiful God's providence has been throughout my pregnancy, labor, and delivery experiences. Pregnancy is not exactly easy on me (being sick for 8 months kind of takes a toll on you) and I have a less than ideal birth story which has further solidified our prayers for adoption in the future. C sections are rough on your body and for safety reasons, doctors don't recommend you have many more than 3-4 of them which stinks for someone who wants a larger family. God continues to show us, through hard pregnancies and rough deliveries, that adoption is in our future and we are able to find joy in the pain because of that reason!

Every family is different- large, small, blended, mixed race, stay at home mom, stay at home dad- but we don't have to be defined (and ridiculed) by the birth plans we choose. My scare reminds me of the months I spent growing my sweet babies, the strength it took to give birth to them, and the absolute gift that children are in our lives.