Jessica's Breastfeeding Story

    I am happy to share my breastfeeding experiences with you- I truly believe God allowed this journey so that I could share and encourage others that experience similar challenges. I do want to say...This is very simply my story. It is not meant to say that if you didn't/don't do the things I did you did it wrong (if you keep reading I'm pretty sure a fair amount of you will think Im a crazy person!) I just didn't meet anyone who had the same story as me while I was going through this. I know they exist- but when this was happening, I talked about this with many people and scoured mom forums to find answers and I just really couldn't find much and I got some pretty negative feedback at times...So I hope this will be helpful to some of you!

     I first want to say that if you are working at breastfeeding and it isn't going well and all you are hearing is: 1.) “Its natural- babies were born to do this- your baby is fine just keep nursing.” (My baby was NOT fine and I did need help) OR:  2.) “Your baby is starving you need to give them formula.” Please hear me that there is somewhere in the middle..I was somewhere in the middle. There are lactation consultants that are specially trained to identify and help treat you and your baby’s unique feeding challenges.  http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3337. 

     So..Laina was born at 35.5 weeks and weighed 4 lbs 12 oz. She spent a few weeks in the NICU but mostly for apnea and bradycardia- which is serious- but she was a relatively healthy NICU baby. We were able to nurse in the hospital but not for a day or so because she needed IV nutrition and oxygenation and I couldn't stop throwing up. I started pumping (while vomiting) a few hours after my C-section. Laina was able to take it in a syringe the first few days, then in a bottle. We saw an LC in the hospital but how was I supposed to know if she was doing it right? And she was severely jaundiced and kept falling asleep. Like all newborns, she lost weight and got down to around 4 pounds. I was determined to get out of the hospital STAT so we started a rhythm of nursing for about 20-30 minutes then offering her a bottle of breastmilk, then pumping. We did this so we could make sure she gained enough weight. So basically I nursed and pumped every 2-3 hours. We continued this pattern once we were home. By this time I had plenty of milk and I fit in my shirts better than ever haha! Laina had follow-up weight checks and was doing great! 

     But around week 6 someone suggested that I didn't need to pump and offer the bottles anymore since Laina was nursing. (I don't have many regrets in my life- but following that advice would be one of them). For a few days we just nursed. And my newly colicky baby had somehow gotten more upset and my motherly instinct told me something was wrong..she was hungry. I hadn't pumped in a few days and when I did it was significantly less than what I had been consistently getting. 

     Laina had a good latch and I knew I could make milk. We had 2 main issues. #1- Laina resisted (dare I say hated)  nursing, the cradle position, being held like “a baby” in general. She screamed like I was trying to murder her with my breasts. It took up to 20 minutes to get her to calm down enough to actually eat. Not the most encouraging sound for a new mother to hear, and definitely not the breastfeeding picture I had imagined. #2- She was an apathetic nurser. I still don’t know why. Through this God revealed to me that I can’t control people- no matter how small they are or how well intentioned I am. But she simply didn't transfer milk.  Had I not pumped in the NICU I would have thought my supply was the problem- but it was only a problem once I left it up to her to maintain. 

     We went to a lactation consultant and after 30-40 minutes of nursing Laina had only transferred 12 ml of milk..thats less than half an oz! (she had been drinking close to 3 oz/each bottle). And my milk supply needed help since my baby wasn’t maintaining the supply for me. (I was so tired of reading babies are more effective than pumps...b/c that was not our case)

     I took home a scale and we started a new feeding plan: Weigh, nurse, weigh again, calculate the difference from what she needed, then offer a bottle of that amount while I pumped. During the daytime I had to do this totally alone- and my child screamed pretty much constantly and had to be held to sleep so there wasn't really an option to pump later- I had to pump while I gave the bottle. All I can say is: handsfree bra, strategically positioned boppy & wedge pillows, lots or patience & prayer, and Netflix. And I did this 8-10 times a day for 3 months. I rarely went anywhere.. I NEVER left the house without my pump (and my manual pump as an emergency backup and bottles and freezer packs and a travel bottle warmer.)  I had anxiety about being away from the scale. So basically I never went anywhere. And like I said, my child was a screamer so no one wanted to hear that anyways. The doctor did monthly weight checks and Laina was once again doing great! 

     So around 4 months we weaned ME off the scale. But she was still needing bottles according to all my measurements. It was rare that she got “enough” with just nursing. But I was tired of “competing” with the bottles and the LC thought she would do fine at this point. For 2 months we just nursed. It was so great!! I could do stuff, go places, relax- I was so happy! (I still pumped some to maintain supply) Dr. even let us skip a weight check at 5 months. But as we neared 6 months I got that same feeling I had before- something wasnt right. This time it seemed like somehow Laina was smaller but in a different way. I went to the LC and weighed her and she weighed the exact same she weighed 6 weeks before at her 4 month checkup. I called the doctor and they scheduled an appt a few days out. Let me tell you..I force fed that baby. By the time we went to the MD she had gained 4oz and Im convinced most of it was in about 3 days haha! 

     The doctor wanted to make sure she COULD gain weight but I SO did not want to go through all the every feed weights again. We decided to alternate feedings- 6 a day/ 3 nursing and 3 pumped milk. So a few weeks later at her 6 month visit she weighed 12 pounds 1 oz.  (This is getting long...basically it worked but she ended up developing reflux with all the “extra” milk- but thats a different story that pretty much ends with throwing out our nice nursery rug and buying a replacement from Ikea). 

     Back to pumping, but this time I did it during her naps after I nursed her. It was hard to get enough milk since these were post-feeding pumps so I also pumped in the am before my husband went to work, 3-4 times at night after Laina went to bed, and again around 3 am- I set an alarm to pump then went back to sleep. It was hard- but I was happy to do it- and thankful I was still able to nurse my baby. And my husband was an amazing supporter during all of this. Laina had several nursing strikes..but just as many bottle strikes- commonly at the same time. I would literally make her “soup” with pureed veggies and breastmilk and almost force feed her with a spoon after having to give up trying to nurse or bottle feed that meal for my own sanity. 

     Around 9 months we transitioned to giving her breastmilk in a cup because I had such a negative association with the bottles. I loved it- no more bottles! Slowly we moved the 3 cups to near mealtimes and it worked really well for us. And I still nursed her- now whenever she wanted in addition to our 3 “scheduled” times. We did this until a year when I started whole milk in the cups and slowly weaned myself from the pump (I was still pumping 6-8 times/day in addition to 3-4 nursing sessions.) A few weeks ago at 14.5 months I stopped pumping and now just nurse Laina in the morning and evening. And I still love it! 

     I didn’t start to really enjoy nursing until after 9 months but after that it has literally been one of the best experiences of my life. We have had so much fun together, bonded, snuggled- all the stuff people tell you are the positives of nursing...it just took us a while to get there (or at least for me to relax enough to enjoy it once I knew my baby was ok). But Ill tell you one thing- Im so glad I didn't give up and Id do it all over again if I had to just for the last 6 months to now. (except I think instead of bottles Id use a supplemental nursing system). And I couldn't ask for a better parenting partner and best friend than my husband- I couldn't have done any of this without his support or without God’s grace and strength. 

Thanks for reading something SO LONG...

     But If you want some encouragement, or advice about increasing your milk supply, or have random questions about feeding your baby- please feel free to ask me. I truly have a passion for helping new moms with their breastfeeding journey- who knows- maybe one day I’ll become a lactation consultant! I don't have all the answers but I don't want you to feel alone- you’re not. You’re an LWB momma and we are in this thing together!!

......jessica britnell

Laina asleep on the scale

Learning how to use the cup

Our tiny 6 Month Old

Navigating the Ladies with Babies Facebook Page

Ladies, today I want to share with you some navigation tips for our Ladies with Babies Facebook page. Computers and the internet arent necessarily my areas of expertise but I wanted to offer some simple guidance. 

I always saw Gretchen saying to “check the events tab” and I did..my personal events tab.. and because I was friends with a lot of you, most of the events were there. But not all of them. Then I realized LWB has its OWN events tab and it blew my mind a few months ago girls! Im sure Im not alone and I have even talked a few of you through some other questions as well. So.. here are a few highlights if you are a little behind like me!

Under the “Ladies with Babies” logo you will find the “Events Tab”. Any event created in LWB will be posted here (you can see them even if you arent friends with the host). This can be seen from a computer and a Phone. (On the phone you have to “click” on the logo and it opens up all the tabs). If you want to create an event you need to use FB on a computer. This is also where you go to “add a member”, or see our member roster, and read our group description. 

You can also search the LWB facebook page( or any FB group) from a computer. At the top right there is a search window. If you remember reading something in the group and a few hours later its nowhere to be found- you can use this tool to quickly find it or any other mentions of the same topic. Know that you can always ask a question regardless of how many times its been asked before but this is just an additional resource I have found helpful! 

At the top of the LWB page you will find a “Pinned Post”. It will always be at the top. It currently has several links:

The MAP: (click for map)

This is one of the coolest things I think Ive ever seen someone do with facebook. (I told you computers weren’t my gifting!) 

If you click on the link you can see a color coded map of our LWB network of mamas. Its a great resources to help you find other LWBs near you! Please add yourself so others can find you too!! (There are instructions on the post (5 steps) to put yourself to the map)

The ROSTER:  (click for Roster)

This is a google spreadsheet designed to help you find people that you met but maybe dont remember enough info to find them on facebook etc. Say you met me at mom’s night out and after meeting several new friends (and having a few cocktails) you dont remember my name but remember my daughter’s name. You can search the spreadsheet for “Laina” and it will find me! You can also use it to find other children around your child’s age, or moms in your neighborhood. Click on the link to add yourself to this too!

INSTAGRAM:

LWB has its own instagram account! Sadly, I dont have instagram so it wont let me look at it. But if you do have Instagram you can request to follow at http://instagram.com/ladieswithbabies

CALENDAR:

Do you have friends with babies but they arent on facebook? You can invite them to the google calendar! This will have our major events posted (not last minute ones) and they can get connected this way! 

BLOG: 

If you are reading this- congrats- you found the blog! But there is always a link to it on the pinned post. You can go back and read any previous posts you may have missed or even search for a topic we’ve already discussed. Also- if you have any questions or concerns please use the leadership posts to find someone to reach out to. We want to be available to support and help you fellow LWBs!

I hope you find this helpful... Happy Facebooking!

-jessica b

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Gretchen Smith

Hi, my name is Gretchen Smith and I’m excited to share a little bit about me with you! 

I’m a native Washingtonian (Go Seahawks) but after college spent most of my 20’s living in Los Angeles where I met my husband Steve who happens to be a Texan and Longhorn! We met in March of 2007, got engaged that May, and then were married that September! 

Steve and I spent the first few years of our married life living in LA LA land, but because of his long work hours we started moving around to see if we could find a better work life balance for him. That search took us to NYC, Austin, London, back to LA, my hometown, Dallas and Austin again… aren’t you tired just reading that! Though it was an adventure to say the least, it was also a very hard, long, and uncertain season for us. But just like any good drama, there is a climax and conclusion. After lots of moving around, saying hello and waving good-bye, we made the decision to make Austin our home (for a second time). After almost a year of Steve looking for work and a baby on the way, the Lord blessed us with a job, and within days our daughter Olive was born in a city we can finally call HOME! 

Speaking of Olive… Olive is my “surprise” 9-month-old baby girl who has changed my life, mission, and heart in more ways than one. I would like to say that I was ready and prepared when we found out, but the truth is I wasn’t and it took awhile for my heart to catch up. The shock of expecting also changed our initial course of starting our family through adoption, but we are excited to adopt in the future. 

My struggle into motherhood did not start there though. In October of 2011 we went through a miscarriage and I remember that being such a dark time. I was believing lies that somehow it was my fault (SUCH A LIE), but it was a time in my life that God really showed up and comforted me with His truth. That same comfort also took me through my pregnancy with Olive when at 35 weeks we found out that she wasn’t thriving in the womb due to “growth restrictions”, so I was induced at 38 weeks and we spent 10 days in the NICU. 

Outside of family life, I really enjoy gathering and getting to know people on a deeper level, football, hiking, trying out new restaurants, wine tasting, fashion, and interior design… but what I’m most passionate above all of that is my Christian faith and growing in that with others. 

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Ashley Kriegel

     Hi! I’m Ashley Kriegel and I have been happily married to Tim for 3 years! We had our sweet Millie Ruth November 19, 2013 and it was the happiest day of my life! I am from small town Oklahoma and Tim is from Austin. We met at Kanakuk Kamp summer of 2009, I was a kitchie and he was a counselor and the moment I laid eyes on him I was a goner. We were long distance for 2 years between Oklahoma and Texas and didn’t live in the same town until the day after our wedding when we moved to Austin. Being from a small town I didn’t know it was possible to love a city, but let me tell ya. I love Austin! 

     I have always dreamed of the day I would be a mom, so I am soaking this time up! I never really did the career thing, because I knew it would end in mommy hood and I didn’t want to fall in love with anything and question the mom thing. I am an extremely creative person and I find that as long as I have a creative outlet I feel like myself, the second I don’t I just feel off. I love interior design. Give me a blank house to decorate and I get all kinds of giddy! I also love baby fashion. My little Millie is my fashion babe and we love buying from small handmade brands. Supporting other creative mamas is my favorite! 

     I loved being pregnant. Especially the third trimester, I was huge but I have never felt so alive! I decided about half way through that I wanted to go natural and by the time I got my husband fully on board we realized we did not have a very natural OB. She fought us tooth and nail to not go natural. She even went so far as to beg me to “at least” let her give me an episiotomy… while I was dilated at a 7… in the middle of a contraction. I will go more into this subject later! We were successful in the end and I was so extremely proud of myself for sticking to what I knew I could do, and what I knew God built me to do!

     Life since being a mom has been chaotic to say the least. Those first 3 months of just surviving the fog and then slowly feeling normal again has been a rollercoaster ride I was not expecting. Millie was a high needs baby in the beginning and thankfully has moved passed that. Now she is my quiet sensitive baby who always has an eye on me. Throughout this past year there have been many days when the glue that held me together was knowing that I could see you girls! Ladies With Babies has been such a gift from God. He knew I needed you women and He is so good! I love doing life with you and I can’t wait to watch our babies grow up together!

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Candis Carvey

     Hi, I’m Candis Carvey. I’m a Waco native, a Baylor Bear, a former social worker, an amateur crafter, a survivor of a complete home renovation, a volunteer, a creature of habit, a perfectionist, and a lover of fall, pumpkins, and mugs filled with coffee. Most importantly, I am a born again believer, a wife, a mom, and a loyal friend to many. 

     Nearly five years ago, I married my best friend Patrick, and eleven months ago I gave birth to our son William Patrick- we call him Will.  When we found out we were having a baby, we decided not to find out the gender. It was an amazing experience and one that I’d highly recommend.  My pregnancy was easy and my labor was long.  Like 36 hours long.  I opted to do this completely natural, so yeah, I’m some breed of crazy.

     Life with my two boys is pretty good.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m living a dream, and fear that I’ll suddenly awake and it’ll all be gone.  Like many other moms, I struggle with fear and worry. I come from a long line of worriers and am determined to break the chain. 

     Even though I’ve only been a part of this group of women for a few months, I know that I’m already a better mother because of it.  I fully believe that life is not meant to be journeyed alone.  This becomes most evident when you are a new mother.  If you are doing this alone, I urge you to go find your people.  It may take you a week, a couple of months, or perhaps a year, but I promise you it’s a search worthy of your time. Since you have already found this group, you don’t have to look far. Hope to meet you soon!