The Value of Building Community - By Morgan

      I remember being pregnant and my biggest fear was the potential isolation of being a stay at home mom. I was and am thankful that I am able to spend so much time with my little rugrat, but I knew that my need deep down to connect and do life with other women was going to be raging. I had heard so many people talk about never being able to leave the house once they had a baby and that terrified me. Since becoming a mom I've been learning and navigating the tricky waters of when to venture out into new things for the sake of building a community around me.
     There are days when having a seemingly surface level conversation with another mom at a park or group play date feels kind of meaningless. But, when I look back over the last 16 months all those five-minute conversations with little eye contact because we are all watching our babies (who seem to be trying to constantly kill themselves) add up to real friendships. I have women who I'm doing this WITH. They know me, not just the mom me, but what I'm made of. They appreciate that I love wine and semi homemade cooking. They understand what I'm dealing with and what I'm feeling. I can rant, text and cry with them. And they know my son. They love him.
      I am so thankful for the advice I was given to give myself a break and not try to look perfect or be a perfect mom, but to value community and prioritize making friends in this stage of life. We need each other. I need you and when you need me, I want to be here for you.

-Morgan

Ruthie's Tips for Traveling with a Baby on Board

Ford is 16 months and I've lost count of how many flights he has taken, I am pretty sure it is upwards of 25-30 airplane rides! He was exactly 6.5 weeks old when we took him on his first plane ride to Indianapolis, tagging along with mama to the Influence Conference. Part of me thought we were absolutely nuts for traveling with him so young but then again it seemed like a great time to travel with him when he is still small, cuddling, and will sleep anywhere. I can tell you right now that he was an ANGEL of a traveler....until he turned a year. He became mobile, we stopped nursing, and he stopped sleeping on the go which made things a little difficult. So. This post is to encourage you and give you tips about flying with a BABY... a toddler is a whole different story (I guess my advice for flying with a toddler is don't do it! Kidding..kind of). 

• Bring a carrier! We bring the ergo on every trip and because it allows me both hands for luggage, carry-on's, etc. Luckily rules have changed and you can wear a baby through security as long as you get your hands tested (just takes a minute or so). 

• Bring a copy or phone photo of baby's birth certificate to verify that they are under the age of 2, unless you bought them their own seat. I thought it was silly to have prove my newborn was under 2 but it is protocol. If you get to the airport without it, call your pediatrician and have them send you baby's shot record.
• You are allowed to check carseats, strollers, and pack and plays for free on any airline, even if it costs to check a bag. I recommend the reusable/durable bags for your carseat because they are only covered if they are lost by the airline, not damaged.
• When you are checking in, check with the front desk to see if there is an extra seat on the plane. If so, bring your carseat through security and onto the plane. Baby will sleep so much better! If not, check it so you don't have to deal with it. 
• Bring your stroller through security to gatecheck. Since I always wear Ford through, we use the stroller for our carry ons, diaper bag, laptop bags, etc. This is nice if you have long layovers and want to stroll around the airport. 
• Preboard and sit in the back. Most airlines allow families to board after their highest ranking passengers and if you have the seat of your choice, sit in the back. It is louder in the back so if your baby screams, it is muffled by the plane sounds. You are also closer to the bathrooms.
• Pack extra diapers. If you think your baby will go through 5 diapers, bring 10! You never know if your bags will get stuck or if the altitude will cause extra poops. Be prepared to change diapers in the tiniest of bathrooms too.
• Pack 2-3 extra outfits. A friend of mine packed 2 backup outfits that her sweet baby pooped through and she had to wrap her in a sweater for the rest of the flight. We did end up having 1 blowout on the way there and I was prepared with 4 extra sets. 

Ford was really interested in the couple across from us haha

• Pack warm clothes for baby. Remember airplanes are cold, pack socks, footies, or extra blankets to keep them warm.
• For nursing moms, pack a travel nursing pillow. I have a cheap pillow I got for "free" from here that I keep in the car and decided to bring along with us. This was INCREDIBLY helpful for nursing and also just laying Ford on my lap. 
• Nurse, nurse, nurse. We nursed on take off and landings and in between. Even though we were used to a strict nursing schedule, I let him eat at his own discretion. The suckling helps baby's ears from getting clogged and nursing helps pacify an upset baby. If you don't nurse, bring bottles!
• Bring pacis. Ford didn't take a paci on his own but if you held it in his mouth he will kind of knaw/suck on it and if baby doesn't want to nurse during takeoff/landing, the paci will help their ears. 
• For older babies pack lots and lots of snacks and toys. Offer SMALL amounts of snacks eat each time so it keeps them busy (ex. 1 cheerio at a time). When they get bored of a toy, bring out another. Ford loves going through the airline magazines and playing on the Fisher Price app on our iPad.
• We did not bring a pack and play on our first trip and assumed Ford would sleep in the crib provided by the hotel. Well... those things aren't made for short people. I couldn't reach inside the crib because the rails were too tall. And the crib sheets I brought didn't fit. Ford ended up sleeping in his stroller laid back or his carrier the whole weekend. Just keep this in mind if your baby requires certain sleeping conditions

• Pack your sound machine. We have this one and it is the best thing ever invented. 
• If you feel like you've packed enough, pack a little more. Although we were in a city where we could easily go buy diapers or clothes, I wanted to be stocked and prepared. I brought a sleeve of 75 Costco diapers and we used all but about 20. Pack extra jammies in case of blowouts (but hotel soap DOES get out poop stains!). I am glad I packed an array of outfits because we were expecting cold and it was actually pretty warm.

If you have any additional questions about flying or traveling with babies/toddlers, please let me know! 

"The Deep Dark"- Amanda's Postpartum Depression Story

“The Deep Dark”

That ever-so-quiet popping the monitor makes when it comes on… that’s all that it would take to completely unravel me and send me into a panic attack. The blood would rush to my extremities, my digestive system would start cramping, I’d get the irresistible urge to literally run away from the source of  my panic… my daughter.  

The first couple weeks of Mae’s life we had a very difficult time getting her bilirubin levels to come down, which eventually led to supplementing her with formula in a bottle. Once she had a taste of that plastic nipple she never turned back! She would fight, kick and scream when I tried to nurse her; I never knew an infant could be so strong! Despite multiple lactation consultants and hundreds of dollars of breast-feeding products we had to admit defeat and move to full formula. It crushed me but with time I was able to accept it and even admit that there were benefits to bottle feeding. Unfortunately, that rough first month only got worse when we also had to admit that Mae was colicky and that no amount of gas drops, probiotics, essential oils or formula changes were going to change it. That beautiful baby girl of mine was screaming if she wasn’t eating or sleeping, and in the afternoons she really didn’t want to sleep (more screaming!). Let it be known that Mae was born with a great set of lungs, she never had the demure cry of a newborn. It was full-volume straight out of the womb! Despite all of these challenges I was surviving. I was successfully getting out of the house, my husband was fully supportive, and we were finding a rhythm.

Six weeks to the day after Mae’s birth my period came back. It was a hurtful reminder of the breastfeeding failure, but I didn’t think any more of it. About three days later I lost my appetite and I couldn’t keep food down (or in). Some people might assume they had a virus of some sort, but I knew something else was wrong. I NEVER lose my appetite; I’m a registered dietitian that REALLY enjoys eating. I was also having a harder and harder time pulling myself out of bed each morning, I was completely apathetic to the outside world, and I started having a never-ending sense of dread. Full-blown panic attacks weren’t far behind, even though I didn’t know that’s what they were at the time.  I finally told my husband, mother and sister that I thought I might have postpartum depression (PPD).  I couldn’t help thinking that this was really some weakness in me, that I wasn’t cut out to be a mother and maybe I just didn’t have enough faith in God. I called my OB and I answered a question that I would be asked at least 20 more times throughout the next couple months: do you want to harm your infant or yourself. My answer was no every time. I didn’t want to harm Mae, I just wanted to get away from her. And I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to keep living like this.   

Apparently, it is fairly common for PPD to hit at your first postpartum menstrual cycle (check).  It’s also common in women with children who were ill or hospitalized (check), and in women who had a traumatic breastfeeding experience (check). I guess I was just lucky!  I was told that it would take 4-6 weeks for the antidepressant I was prescribed to be at its full effect, and that’s if this antidepressant was the right one for me. I was devastated. I couldn’t imagine living another day feeling this way, much less another six weeks.

My mother had to come back to stay with us for almost a month. I had gotten to the point where I didn’t feel like I could care for Mae alone.  I just crumbled every time she cried (which was basically all of the time.) Just as I would start feeling some relief, I would get hit by another wave of despair. It got harder and harder each time. My husband was acting as mother and father. My mom was having to stay up with my daughter because I couldn’t stop sobbing long enough to comfort her. My sister would talk me off a ledge by phone every day. My friends would come over and sit with me so I didn’t have to be alone. All of these people stayed by my side even though it was hard, even though I was an epic mess to behold. We started not-so-lovingly calling this period “The Deep Dark.”

I started working with a counselor through my church. We talked about strategies for managing the anxiety attacks and how the physiological “fight or flight” response was responsible for all of my weird symptoms.  I wanted, more than anything, for my counselor to tell me that 1) the way I felt was due to PPD and not my new baseline and 2) that I wouldn’t feel this way forever.  Fortunately, my counselor knew that I needed to find peace within the storm, not just get out of it.

I had to believe God’s promises:

He is an anchor to my soul. He will not allow me to be swallowed by the storm: Hebrews 6:19

His yoke is light, I can cast my burden on Him: Matthew 11:28-29

He will sustain me: Psalm 55:22

He will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish me: 1 Peter 5:6-11

God is with me in the darkest of places: Psalm 23:4

NOTHING can separate me from His love: Romans 8:38-39

God provides peace that goes beyond reason: Philippians 4:7

My suffering produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope: Romans 5: 3-5

His grace is sufficient to pull me through my weakest time. I am made strong through him: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

And He absolutely kept all of those promises. I was empty and completely helpless but despite all of that insurmountable weakness, I was made stronger. As the longest weeks of my life passed, I survived. I started feeling like myself again at almost exactly six weeks after starting the antidepressant. I will forever shout His praises for delivering me and for restoring my relationship with my beautiful gift from Heaven, Mae. There are still hard days and nights and that is when I have to rely heavily on the tools I learned in counseling and these promises from God.

I want to make it absolutely clear that God used so many tools to carry me through “The Deep Dark”: medication, prayer, counseling, and unconditional support from friends and family.  If you think you might have PPD, please don’t suffer silently. You are not alone and it is ok for you to get help. You and your baby are deeply loved by God and He wants to redeem this suffering and replace your ashes of mourning with garments of praise.

Love you all,

Amanda  

 

Here's a really great website about PPD

Jessica's Breastfeeding Story

    I am happy to share my breastfeeding experiences with you- I truly believe God allowed this journey so that I could share and encourage others that experience similar challenges. I do want to say...This is very simply my story. It is not meant to say that if you didn't/don't do the things I did you did it wrong (if you keep reading I'm pretty sure a fair amount of you will think Im a crazy person!) I just didn't meet anyone who had the same story as me while I was going through this. I know they exist- but when this was happening, I talked about this with many people and scoured mom forums to find answers and I just really couldn't find much and I got some pretty negative feedback at times...So I hope this will be helpful to some of you!

     I first want to say that if you are working at breastfeeding and it isn't going well and all you are hearing is: 1.) “Its natural- babies were born to do this- your baby is fine just keep nursing.” (My baby was NOT fine and I did need help) OR:  2.) “Your baby is starving you need to give them formula.” Please hear me that there is somewhere in the middle..I was somewhere in the middle. There are lactation consultants that are specially trained to identify and help treat you and your baby’s unique feeding challenges.  http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3337. 

     So..Laina was born at 35.5 weeks and weighed 4 lbs 12 oz. She spent a few weeks in the NICU but mostly for apnea and bradycardia- which is serious- but she was a relatively healthy NICU baby. We were able to nurse in the hospital but not for a day or so because she needed IV nutrition and oxygenation and I couldn't stop throwing up. I started pumping (while vomiting) a few hours after my C-section. Laina was able to take it in a syringe the first few days, then in a bottle. We saw an LC in the hospital but how was I supposed to know if she was doing it right? And she was severely jaundiced and kept falling asleep. Like all newborns, she lost weight and got down to around 4 pounds. I was determined to get out of the hospital STAT so we started a rhythm of nursing for about 20-30 minutes then offering her a bottle of breastmilk, then pumping. We did this so we could make sure she gained enough weight. So basically I nursed and pumped every 2-3 hours. We continued this pattern once we were home. By this time I had plenty of milk and I fit in my shirts better than ever haha! Laina had follow-up weight checks and was doing great! 

     But around week 6 someone suggested that I didn't need to pump and offer the bottles anymore since Laina was nursing. (I don't have many regrets in my life- but following that advice would be one of them). For a few days we just nursed. And my newly colicky baby had somehow gotten more upset and my motherly instinct told me something was wrong..she was hungry. I hadn't pumped in a few days and when I did it was significantly less than what I had been consistently getting. 

     Laina had a good latch and I knew I could make milk. We had 2 main issues. #1- Laina resisted (dare I say hated)  nursing, the cradle position, being held like “a baby” in general. She screamed like I was trying to murder her with my breasts. It took up to 20 minutes to get her to calm down enough to actually eat. Not the most encouraging sound for a new mother to hear, and definitely not the breastfeeding picture I had imagined. #2- She was an apathetic nurser. I still don’t know why. Through this God revealed to me that I can’t control people- no matter how small they are or how well intentioned I am. But she simply didn't transfer milk.  Had I not pumped in the NICU I would have thought my supply was the problem- but it was only a problem once I left it up to her to maintain. 

     We went to a lactation consultant and after 30-40 minutes of nursing Laina had only transferred 12 ml of milk..thats less than half an oz! (she had been drinking close to 3 oz/each bottle). And my milk supply needed help since my baby wasn’t maintaining the supply for me. (I was so tired of reading babies are more effective than pumps...b/c that was not our case)

     I took home a scale and we started a new feeding plan: Weigh, nurse, weigh again, calculate the difference from what she needed, then offer a bottle of that amount while I pumped. During the daytime I had to do this totally alone- and my child screamed pretty much constantly and had to be held to sleep so there wasn't really an option to pump later- I had to pump while I gave the bottle. All I can say is: handsfree bra, strategically positioned boppy & wedge pillows, lots or patience & prayer, and Netflix. And I did this 8-10 times a day for 3 months. I rarely went anywhere.. I NEVER left the house without my pump (and my manual pump as an emergency backup and bottles and freezer packs and a travel bottle warmer.)  I had anxiety about being away from the scale. So basically I never went anywhere. And like I said, my child was a screamer so no one wanted to hear that anyways. The doctor did monthly weight checks and Laina was once again doing great! 

     So around 4 months we weaned ME off the scale. But she was still needing bottles according to all my measurements. It was rare that she got “enough” with just nursing. But I was tired of “competing” with the bottles and the LC thought she would do fine at this point. For 2 months we just nursed. It was so great!! I could do stuff, go places, relax- I was so happy! (I still pumped some to maintain supply) Dr. even let us skip a weight check at 5 months. But as we neared 6 months I got that same feeling I had before- something wasnt right. This time it seemed like somehow Laina was smaller but in a different way. I went to the LC and weighed her and she weighed the exact same she weighed 6 weeks before at her 4 month checkup. I called the doctor and they scheduled an appt a few days out. Let me tell you..I force fed that baby. By the time we went to the MD she had gained 4oz and Im convinced most of it was in about 3 days haha! 

     The doctor wanted to make sure she COULD gain weight but I SO did not want to go through all the every feed weights again. We decided to alternate feedings- 6 a day/ 3 nursing and 3 pumped milk. So a few weeks later at her 6 month visit she weighed 12 pounds 1 oz.  (This is getting long...basically it worked but she ended up developing reflux with all the “extra” milk- but thats a different story that pretty much ends with throwing out our nice nursery rug and buying a replacement from Ikea). 

     Back to pumping, but this time I did it during her naps after I nursed her. It was hard to get enough milk since these were post-feeding pumps so I also pumped in the am before my husband went to work, 3-4 times at night after Laina went to bed, and again around 3 am- I set an alarm to pump then went back to sleep. It was hard- but I was happy to do it- and thankful I was still able to nurse my baby. And my husband was an amazing supporter during all of this. Laina had several nursing strikes..but just as many bottle strikes- commonly at the same time. I would literally make her “soup” with pureed veggies and breastmilk and almost force feed her with a spoon after having to give up trying to nurse or bottle feed that meal for my own sanity. 

     Around 9 months we transitioned to giving her breastmilk in a cup because I had such a negative association with the bottles. I loved it- no more bottles! Slowly we moved the 3 cups to near mealtimes and it worked really well for us. And I still nursed her- now whenever she wanted in addition to our 3 “scheduled” times. We did this until a year when I started whole milk in the cups and slowly weaned myself from the pump (I was still pumping 6-8 times/day in addition to 3-4 nursing sessions.) A few weeks ago at 14.5 months I stopped pumping and now just nurse Laina in the morning and evening. And I still love it! 

     I didn’t start to really enjoy nursing until after 9 months but after that it has literally been one of the best experiences of my life. We have had so much fun together, bonded, snuggled- all the stuff people tell you are the positives of nursing...it just took us a while to get there (or at least for me to relax enough to enjoy it once I knew my baby was ok). But Ill tell you one thing- Im so glad I didn't give up and Id do it all over again if I had to just for the last 6 months to now. (except I think instead of bottles Id use a supplemental nursing system). And I couldn't ask for a better parenting partner and best friend than my husband- I couldn't have done any of this without his support or without God’s grace and strength. 

Thanks for reading something SO LONG...

     But If you want some encouragement, or advice about increasing your milk supply, or have random questions about feeding your baby- please feel free to ask me. I truly have a passion for helping new moms with their breastfeeding journey- who knows- maybe one day I’ll become a lactation consultant! I don't have all the answers but I don't want you to feel alone- you’re not. You’re an LWB momma and we are in this thing together!!

......jessica britnell

Laina asleep on the scale

Learning how to use the cup

Our tiny 6 Month Old

Navigating the Ladies with Babies Facebook Page

Ladies, today I want to share with you some navigation tips for our Ladies with Babies Facebook page. Computers and the internet arent necessarily my areas of expertise but I wanted to offer some simple guidance. 

I always saw Gretchen saying to “check the events tab” and I did..my personal events tab.. and because I was friends with a lot of you, most of the events were there. But not all of them. Then I realized LWB has its OWN events tab and it blew my mind a few months ago girls! Im sure Im not alone and I have even talked a few of you through some other questions as well. So.. here are a few highlights if you are a little behind like me!

Under the “Ladies with Babies” logo you will find the “Events Tab”. Any event created in LWB will be posted here (you can see them even if you arent friends with the host). This can be seen from a computer and a Phone. (On the phone you have to “click” on the logo and it opens up all the tabs). If you want to create an event you need to use FB on a computer. This is also where you go to “add a member”, or see our member roster, and read our group description. 

You can also search the LWB facebook page( or any FB group) from a computer. At the top right there is a search window. If you remember reading something in the group and a few hours later its nowhere to be found- you can use this tool to quickly find it or any other mentions of the same topic. Know that you can always ask a question regardless of how many times its been asked before but this is just an additional resource I have found helpful! 

At the top of the LWB page you will find a “Pinned Post”. It will always be at the top. It currently has several links:

The MAP: (click for map)

This is one of the coolest things I think Ive ever seen someone do with facebook. (I told you computers weren’t my gifting!) 

If you click on the link you can see a color coded map of our LWB network of mamas. Its a great resources to help you find other LWBs near you! Please add yourself so others can find you too!! (There are instructions on the post (5 steps) to put yourself to the map)

The ROSTER:  (click for Roster)

This is a google spreadsheet designed to help you find people that you met but maybe dont remember enough info to find them on facebook etc. Say you met me at mom’s night out and after meeting several new friends (and having a few cocktails) you dont remember my name but remember my daughter’s name. You can search the spreadsheet for “Laina” and it will find me! You can also use it to find other children around your child’s age, or moms in your neighborhood. Click on the link to add yourself to this too!

INSTAGRAM:

LWB has its own instagram account! Sadly, I dont have instagram so it wont let me look at it. But if you do have Instagram you can request to follow at http://instagram.com/ladieswithbabies

CALENDAR:

Do you have friends with babies but they arent on facebook? You can invite them to the google calendar! This will have our major events posted (not last minute ones) and they can get connected this way! 

BLOG: 

If you are reading this- congrats- you found the blog! But there is always a link to it on the pinned post. You can go back and read any previous posts you may have missed or even search for a topic we’ve already discussed. Also- if you have any questions or concerns please use the leadership posts to find someone to reach out to. We want to be available to support and help you fellow LWBs!

I hope you find this helpful... Happy Facebooking!

-jessica b

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Gretchen Smith

Hi, my name is Gretchen Smith and I’m excited to share a little bit about me with you! 

I’m a native Washingtonian (Go Seahawks) but after college spent most of my 20’s living in Los Angeles where I met my husband Steve who happens to be a Texan and Longhorn! We met in March of 2007, got engaged that May, and then were married that September! 

Steve and I spent the first few years of our married life living in LA LA land, but because of his long work hours we started moving around to see if we could find a better work life balance for him. That search took us to NYC, Austin, London, back to LA, my hometown, Dallas and Austin again… aren’t you tired just reading that! Though it was an adventure to say the least, it was also a very hard, long, and uncertain season for us. But just like any good drama, there is a climax and conclusion. After lots of moving around, saying hello and waving good-bye, we made the decision to make Austin our home (for a second time). After almost a year of Steve looking for work and a baby on the way, the Lord blessed us with a job, and within days our daughter Olive was born in a city we can finally call HOME! 

Speaking of Olive… Olive is my “surprise” 9-month-old baby girl who has changed my life, mission, and heart in more ways than one. I would like to say that I was ready and prepared when we found out, but the truth is I wasn’t and it took awhile for my heart to catch up. The shock of expecting also changed our initial course of starting our family through adoption, but we are excited to adopt in the future. 

My struggle into motherhood did not start there though. In October of 2011 we went through a miscarriage and I remember that being such a dark time. I was believing lies that somehow it was my fault (SUCH A LIE), but it was a time in my life that God really showed up and comforted me with His truth. That same comfort also took me through my pregnancy with Olive when at 35 weeks we found out that she wasn’t thriving in the womb due to “growth restrictions”, so I was induced at 38 weeks and we spent 10 days in the NICU. 

Outside of family life, I really enjoy gathering and getting to know people on a deeper level, football, hiking, trying out new restaurants, wine tasting, fashion, and interior design… but what I’m most passionate above all of that is my Christian faith and growing in that with others. 

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Ashley Kriegel

     Hi! I’m Ashley Kriegel and I have been happily married to Tim for 3 years! We had our sweet Millie Ruth November 19, 2013 and it was the happiest day of my life! I am from small town Oklahoma and Tim is from Austin. We met at Kanakuk Kamp summer of 2009, I was a kitchie and he was a counselor and the moment I laid eyes on him I was a goner. We were long distance for 2 years between Oklahoma and Texas and didn’t live in the same town until the day after our wedding when we moved to Austin. Being from a small town I didn’t know it was possible to love a city, but let me tell ya. I love Austin! 

     I have always dreamed of the day I would be a mom, so I am soaking this time up! I never really did the career thing, because I knew it would end in mommy hood and I didn’t want to fall in love with anything and question the mom thing. I am an extremely creative person and I find that as long as I have a creative outlet I feel like myself, the second I don’t I just feel off. I love interior design. Give me a blank house to decorate and I get all kinds of giddy! I also love baby fashion. My little Millie is my fashion babe and we love buying from small handmade brands. Supporting other creative mamas is my favorite! 

     I loved being pregnant. Especially the third trimester, I was huge but I have never felt so alive! I decided about half way through that I wanted to go natural and by the time I got my husband fully on board we realized we did not have a very natural OB. She fought us tooth and nail to not go natural. She even went so far as to beg me to “at least” let her give me an episiotomy… while I was dilated at a 7… in the middle of a contraction. I will go more into this subject later! We were successful in the end and I was so extremely proud of myself for sticking to what I knew I could do, and what I knew God built me to do!

     Life since being a mom has been chaotic to say the least. Those first 3 months of just surviving the fog and then slowly feeling normal again has been a rollercoaster ride I was not expecting. Millie was a high needs baby in the beginning and thankfully has moved passed that. Now she is my quiet sensitive baby who always has an eye on me. Throughout this past year there have been many days when the glue that held me together was knowing that I could see you girls! Ladies With Babies has been such a gift from God. He knew I needed you women and He is so good! I love doing life with you and I can’t wait to watch our babies grow up together!

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Candis Carvey

     Hi, I’m Candis Carvey. I’m a Waco native, a Baylor Bear, a former social worker, an amateur crafter, a survivor of a complete home renovation, a volunteer, a creature of habit, a perfectionist, and a lover of fall, pumpkins, and mugs filled with coffee. Most importantly, I am a born again believer, a wife, a mom, and a loyal friend to many. 

     Nearly five years ago, I married my best friend Patrick, and eleven months ago I gave birth to our son William Patrick- we call him Will.  When we found out we were having a baby, we decided not to find out the gender. It was an amazing experience and one that I’d highly recommend.  My pregnancy was easy and my labor was long.  Like 36 hours long.  I opted to do this completely natural, so yeah, I’m some breed of crazy.

     Life with my two boys is pretty good.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m living a dream, and fear that I’ll suddenly awake and it’ll all be gone.  Like many other moms, I struggle with fear and worry. I come from a long line of worriers and am determined to break the chain. 

     Even though I’ve only been a part of this group of women for a few months, I know that I’m already a better mother because of it.  I fully believe that life is not meant to be journeyed alone.  This becomes most evident when you are a new mother.  If you are doing this alone, I urge you to go find your people.  It may take you a week, a couple of months, or perhaps a year, but I promise you it’s a search worthy of your time. Since you have already found this group, you don’t have to look far. Hope to meet you soon!

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Lissie Nee

     Hi!  My name is Lissie Nee and I'm so happy to share a bit about my life with you today.  I live in Cedar Park with my best friend and husband, Chris, and our 11 month old little girl, Jacqueline.  I grew up in New Jersey and moved to Austin almost 10 years ago, mainly for higher income with a lower cost of living. However, I also loved that it was a city full of people my age and I wasn't finding a man in small-town New Jersey.

    Two years after I moved here, I met my man but it wasn't until another two years passed that I saw him again and we started dating. He likes to tell you he knew he was going to marry me that first time we met and he was just letting things marinate. I like to believe it, cause, well...what girl wouldn't?!

    

 In 2012, after two years of marriage, our vows got put to the test when my dad was diagnosed with and died of cancer (within 3 months) and Chris got laid off from his job. We decided to take the season of change and run with it – we sold our house, furniture and lots of belongings and bought one-way tickets to Sydney, Australia! The plan was to start on the other side of the world and work our way back for the next year or so. All of our friends at home were having babies, but we wanted some adventure before we settled down.

     We felt great relief about our decision to postpone children after we stayed with friends in Australia who had a 2.5 yr old and 1 year old twins. They were cute, loveable, exhausting anchors that we happily cut off when we headed to New Zealand. Our travels were fun and carefree, and it was so great to have that time with each other with no distraction. Of course, no tv, no stress and lots of time means it was like a looooong honeymoon so it wasn't terribly shocking when we found out I was pregnant.

     Though I was hoping to get knocked-up more towards the end of our travels, I was relieved to have a legitimate excuse for the insane mood-swings I'd started to experience. Crying over silly things like having to wear a cover-up for modesty's sake in a small village in Indonesia isn't my norm, so I knew something was wrong.

     Though our plans were to continue traveling and having check-ups in major cities, morning sickness quickly took over my world. The humidity, weird smells and foods of Southeast Asia didn't help. When I found myself running across streets or out of the train at random stations to throw up in a somewhat discreet place, we knew it was time to come home.

     It's hard to believe all that was a year and a half ago! But before this post turns into a book, here are a few bullet points to bring you up to speed:

~When we moved back, we bought a house at the Georgetown auction and have been fixing it up since, much more slowly since Jacqueline was born. Moving in a week before her birth, I insisted on having a toilet upstairs, but otherwise, I like to remind Chris that he's lucky he's married to me. ;)

~We finally learned the gender of our baby when Jacqueline arrived 10 days late. I had her at the Austin Area Birthing Center, but once you hit 42 weeks, the birthing centers can't deliver so I had two acupuncture sessions to help move things along. Natural, drug-free birth was intense, especially with back-labor, but I knew my body was designed for it. Also, I'm glad they don't have drugs there or else I may've changed my tune!

~I've always wanted to be a mommy and this year has not disappointed me! Don't get me wrong; we've had trials with the joy.  When Jacqueline was 2 months old, her sudden 105 temp ended up being a UTI that we fought off with essential oils (hence my obsession with them).  Making the call on what goes into her body was and is scary!  More recently, I've struggled with a decrease in milk supply and we've had to supplement with homemade formula. However, we are a pretty chill family so I'm not usually one to worry too much with the ups and downs of parenting . If you ever need anyone to talk you off the ledge, I'll be there with a glass of wine, happily reassuring you that you and your baby are normal and fine!

~I'm still nursing and, even with J's 1st birthday approaching, I'm not sure when I'll stop. I haven't really thought about it too much, other than we won't be a scene from the movie “Grown Ups”.

Thanks for reading and I hope to meet you at a LWB event soon!

Love,

Lissie

Getting to Know the Ladies with Babies Leadership Team: Lauren Scurry

Hello Beautiful LWB ladies,

     I’m happy to be on the blog today sharing a little bit about me!  I’m Lauren Scurry and am mother to 10-month fraternal twin girls, Eleanor and Maggie. I am married to my best friend, Tom (who has an unhealthy love for Aggie Football), and we live in Round Rock. I met Tom while attending Texas A&M in 2003, and we got married in 2007. We spent our first year of marriage living in a small town in west Texas for my husband’s job.  (I always say that my greatest marriage advice for newly-weds is to spend your first year living in a tiny remote town you’ve never heard of hours away from even a Target, share a cell-phone and a car, and save every penny you can! Talk about a marriage boot camp!)  After that adventure, we moved back on the grid to Dallas and then finally to Round Rock in 2012. I worked in the mental health field for several years before I went back to school in 2010 for Speech Pathology.  I work part-time as a Speech Therapist with a pediatric home-health company called Therapy 2000 and love it!

     As far my journey into motherhood…well…it has been a long one, full of tears , heartache, smiles and hope! I’ve had multiple miscarriages, D&Cs, uterine surgery, a rescue cerclage, and then finally, by the grace of God, gave birth to twin girls on December 10, 2013 at 34 weeks. Eleanor was 3 lbs 12 oz and Maggie was 4 lbs; 1oz. They were in the NICU for 15 days, and we got to finally bring them home on Christmas Day! All that to say…I know the feeling of loss and loneliness related to miscarriage…I know how scary and overwhelming it is to have a preemie baby, and I have experienced  the roller-coaster of emotions that go into being a NICU mom.  It’s been a dark, scary, and lonely road I’ve traveled, but I just have to say that God is good! Even during those dark times when I felt so alone He was there, and He heard my (literal) cries….and I have two miracle babies that remind me of that everyday!

     I’m looking forward to sharing more about my story and the ins and outs of being a twin mom later on the blog.  However, in the meantime I’m an open book so if you’d like to talk or hear more about my experiences with miscarriage, twin pregnancy, bedrest/cerclage, unplanned C-section,  being a NICU mom, or having a preemie, I would love that. I am also open to talk to anyone who may have concerns about their child’s speech and language development, and even feeding issues. I may not have all the answer but I can definitely point you in the right direction.  My email address is laurenscurry@gmail.com or you can just send me a message on FB. 

     I am so blessed to be a part of this LWB group and excited to serve on the Leadership Team! Raising a baby (x2) definitely takes a village and you ladies are my village! 

XOXO, Lauren

Getting to Know the Ladies with Babies Leadership Team: Kara Kopecky

     I am Kara Kopecky and the proud mother of a 9 month old baby girl named Abigail, who seriously has the chubbiest cheeks I have ever seen.  I am a 35 year old former hedge fund accountant turned fitness instructor who now stays at home full time learning the ropes of motherhood.  My husband Tom and I have been married for 7 years and met while both living and working in downtown Chicago, parenthood being the furthest thing from our minds at the time.  

    

     Fast forward a few years and we decided to move back to Austin, where I grew up, and start a family.  We soon learned that God had other plans when we found ourselves unable to get pregnant after 2 years of fertility treatments.  We were clearly lead to pursue infant domestic adoption after a final round of fertility testing and, 9 months later, Abigail Marie was in our arms and we were looking at each other saying, “what do we do now – with a baby??”  We have a wonderful open adoption with Abigail’s birth family and I look forward to sharing that story with you in a future blog post.

      I have a passion for engaging with other women and making people laugh.  I tend to be the one who says something out loud that everyone else is probably thinking, but is afraid to say.  My other passions are music performance (piano and voice), fitness, fashion, reading, and having deep conversations with others who are not afraid to get real.  

     I have no idea what I’m doing more than half the time as a mother, but has God blessed us with a chilled out, laid back baby who at least gives me time to consult Google before I freak out.  Tom and I live downtown by Zilker Park and we would have our fire pit and grill going 7 days a week if the weather would only cooperate (we find Texas summers do not allow us this indulgence).  We love to host outdoor cookouts and engage with our neighbors and church community at Austin Stone. I would love to talk openly with anyone about motherhood realities (the good, the bad, and the ugly), infertility, and most importantly, adoption.  We thank God every day for the journey that led us to our Abigail.  

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Ruthie Hart

     I am Ruthie Hart and I can be easily recognized by how many posts I make on the LWB Facebook page! I am 26 and the mama of 14 month old boy Ford and expecting our 2nd in April 2015. I am a stay at home mama, blogger at www.ruthiehart.com, writer for MOMquery, and on the prayer and writing team for Thrive Moms Community. Yes, I love the internet! I am married to a hunky man named Jon who sells software by day and by night, works on cars, plays basketball, and has an unhealthy obsession with holiday decorating. I’m an Aggie, he’s a Baylor Bear and we met while I was interning at the company he worked at and were married 1.5 years later. We live in Steiner Ranch, go to The Austin Stone Community Church, and love traveling, playing games, and being active as a family (we are serious board/card gamers!). 

     With Ford, I was blessed to get pregnant right away but also cursed with getting sick shortly after. I was extremely sick from weeks 6-33 and experienced every negative pregnancy symptom out there. Baby #2 has not been too nice to me either which makes me think it is another boy! Despite not having the storybook pregnancy, I loved being pregnant. One thing I have learned is there is no need to be a hero! Medication is my friend! I also had a very rare and painful labor and delivery. I never went into labor (never had a contraction on my own!) and was induced at 41 weeks. After asking for an epidural and being pumped with the fluids necessary, I was told my blood platelets were too low and the risks were too high. I had a gestational blood disorder called Thrombocytopenia. This came to a shock because I was on hour 4 of a Pitocin induced labor and my waters had broken. I am pretty sure I screamed something profane when I found out I would feel every part of labor. Pitocin is a mean, mean lady! I tried for 8 hours and Pitocin did not dilate me even a half of a centimeter. I truly believe it was not in God's will for me to have this baby vaginally. I was rushed into general surgery, was put under full anesthesia for my C section, and my husband could not be with me. I met Ford an hour after he was born but don't have any solid memories until a couple of hours later. I am sad to say that the birth of my son was not the best day of my life but the hardest, most traumatic, and most painful. Recovery was intense and I went through a rollercoaster of emotions by my unexpected birth story (we even skipped the chapters on C sections in the baby books!). You can read my full birth story here. I would be happy to talk with anyone about the emotions after a failed vaginal delivery and/or c section recovery. Other topics I love chatting about are: breastfeeding for a year, bottle strikes (Ford never took a bottle), mastitis, sleep training/cry it out, traveling husband, blogging/internet presence, and 2nd pregnancies. 

Cheers,

Ruthie Hart

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Alexia Estes

     Hi! My name is Alexia Estes and I’ve been married to Jeffrey since February 27th, 2010 - almost FIVE years! My son Jack was born on October 11th,  2013.

     Before Jack was born I taught adult ESL (English as a Second Language). I am currently teaching one small class with an organization called English @ Work. I’ve taught in many places and love working with the immigrant community. If this interests you, too, let’s get together!

     My pregnancy was thankfully pretty uneventful. My doctor even used the word “textbook” at one of my last appointments. Jack came almost 3 weeks early when my water broke, and that’s when the chaos ensued! We had our challenges with low bilirubin levels, slow weight gain and exclusively pumping so we could measure how much he was getting at each feeding. Even after we packed away the pump and returned to nursing at 8 weeks, we still had weight gain issues and, for other various reasons, switched to formula at 6 months. Jack also has some mild hearing loss in his left ear (which is why you’ll see him wearing a headband - there’s a hearing aid attached), so that’s been a unique experience for us, as well. Despite these setback, I’m thankful to say that he is now a healthy, happy, 21lb 1 year old!

     To say that this first year of parenthood was challenging is an understatement. From trying to learn how to teach my baby to sleep, eat, play, learn, and grow, to trying to keep my own sanity through lack of sleep and constantly questioning every little thing I’m doing for my baby, I know I couldn’t have done it without my mommy community. And at the same time, to say that this first year was amazing would also be an understatement. From seeing my baby’s first smile, hearing his first belly laugh, watching him discover new skills and start zooming across the room, to realizing that my baby is only a baby for such a brief moment, this year has been full of more joy than I could have ever imagined!

     I sat at lunch back in November with Gretchen and a hand full of ladies that I had never met, or didn’t know very well. I was an insecure mother of a 6 week old boy, desperate for community with other moms. Over the course of almost the past year, God has truly done a work with the ladies in this group -  answering questions, providing encouragement, an opportunity to just get out of the house - and above all, great friendships.

     I am so thankful for the women I get to share parenthood with, I’m glad you have joined us!

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Morgan Stephanian

     I am Morgan Stephanian. I have lived in Austin my entire life and love this great city! Stephen, my husband of five years, and I went to the same high school (Anderson) and both graduated from the University of Texas. I got an education degree and went on to teach kindergarten for the next five years. I loved teaching and miss being a teacher but I am so thankful for the blessing of getting to have a classroom of one right now! Outside of motherhood my passions are hosting, cooking, wine, and hair and makeup artistry. 

     My son Ethan is fourteen months old and is such a joy in my life. Each stage has brought new challenges but gets more and more fun. I have noticed that as his personality becomes more complex so do his tantrums! 

     My pregnancy was smooth sailing and labor was a blast. It hurt but it was fun... my epidural gets all thanks for that! Ethan had a very severe case of Jaundice after birth because he was three weeks early and I was terrified. That was only the first of what I anticipate being a lifetime of instances when he'll have me a ball of nerves or in tears. 

     What gets me through the daily grind and emotional roller coaster of motherhood? These sisters I am doing this alongside. All of you! I am abundantly blessed to have a community of mammas around me to encourage and keep me grounded. I am a realist and an optimist. If you ever want blunt honest advice or encouragement I'll do my best.

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Amanda Hays

     Hello! My name is Amanda Hays. I’ve been married to my husband, Bryce, for almost 7 years. Our spunky baby girl, Mae, is 8 months old. She makes everyday exciting and loves so beautifully. I’m originally from Midland, TX and I went to undergraduate and graduate school at Texas Tech University… Wreck ‘em!  We’ve lived in the Austin area for three years and, like most people who live here, we absolutely love it. I work full-time as a Registered Dietitian/Nutritionist at a dialysis center. I love my job and find it incredibly rewarding. 

     Mae was born in January and turned our world upside down, then rolled it around some more. Despite every effort imaginable, breastfeeding ended within a month of her birth. She also had colic, and then I got hit with some pretty serious postpartum depression at about 6 weeks. The first three months of her life were the worst of mine. God never left my side and redeemed an incredibly difficult time. I’ll dive deeply into this journey through the blog at a later date ;)

     I have a passion to support and love other mothers, especially during those hard times.  Mothering is hard, yo! I also want to make sure working moms have a place where they can connect and be encouraged. 

     I’m an open book so please contact me if you ever want to talk. I’m so very glad you found this group and I hope to meet you some day!

                                                                                                                     -Amanda

Getting to Know the LWB Leadership Team: Jessica Britnell

     My name is Jessica Britnell and I’m excited to tell you a little bit about me! I am very in love with Jonathan, my husband of 9 years. We are both from Pensacola, FL and moved to Austin 5 years ago. We LOVE music and almost always have something fun playing in the house (and classical- or Civil Wars in the car!) I turned 30 this year but that was slightly overshadowed by caring for my high maintenance daughter Laina Vogue - now 14 months old. She is so fun and so challenging all at the same time! I’m a nurse and previously worked in ICU and as a Transplant Coordinator, but currently work 1 day a week and spend the rest of my time with sweet Laina. 

     Our first year as parents was full of adventure but definitely wasn’t easy. My water broke early at 35.5 weeks and this breech baby was coming. I had minor complications from delivery, but Laina wasn’t quite ready for unmonitored life and spent a few weeks in the NICU (one of the hardest times in my life). After we finally brought her home she became colicky and screamed what seemed like 25 hrs a day. On top of that, she wasn’t effectively nursing and we started our uphill breastfeeding journey. After months of hard work, weight checks, lots of pumping, and trusting God we finally had a somewhat “normal” nursing rhythm. And I’m thankful for all of it - I still love nursing her now! 

     I learned a lot about parenthood this past year, but I feel like I’ve learned even more about myself. I am excited to share how God showed me that I couldn’t change Laina, so I had to change my own perspective and through that realization I was able to have one of the best years of my life! I truly love and enjoy being her mom and love supporting other moms as we go through this journey together!